Sincerely Yours

The Pearl of Great Price

2011-03-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

This will be pretty short post for a change, I have just been feeling convicted and want to record it, more for my own memory than anything else. God has been challenging me that I must never devalue the pearl of great price. This comes from the story Jesus told in Matthew of the man who found a pearl so great and so valuable that he gladly sold all he had to buy it. Jesus told His disciples that the pearl represented the Kingdom of Heaven, that they might seek it with such dedication.

Another similar parable Jesus told is of a man who found a treasure in a field. It was a secret and of such great worth that he also sold everything he owned to buy the field and own the treasure. If the Kingdom of Heaven is so valuable that I must sell all I have to gain it, then do I have the right attitude? Do I truly place such a high value on the Kingdom, in truth seeking it first and His righteousness, or do I give lip service to the greatness of His Kingdom while living as if it were a second class citizenship, second to the temporary world I enjoy too much to let it go? That is the challenge for me, I must hold my citizenship in Jesus Kingdom in such high regard that I forsake all else for it! Oh how hard it is to truly live this way in a world whose values are so contrary to Christ's.

I am to have a dream to strive for, but I must let go the American dream. The material dream of good things and safe life must be abandoned like daydreams of castles and fantasy realms; for the values we place on our comfortable life here are just as temporal and fleeting as such dreams in the face of reality. The reality of eternity will awaken every person one day with the question: Did you give your all to seek the treasure of the glory of the Kingdom of heaven? Did you value the pearl of great price?

God help me say yes!

Denomination Consternation

2011-01-31T21:18:00.000-08:00

I just spent the last few minutes doing sit-ups. It would be really hard to do a sit-up if my toes didn’t stay hooked under the couch when I wanted them to give me leverage, or if my muscles and skeleton didn’t work together to pull my torso up. What if my knees didn’t want to do sit-ups? How would I succeed without the help of those awkward looking but necessary joints? How well could my body function if I thought knees were strange, or dangerously radical, and if perhaps I divided my body parts and separated them based on similar functions or appearance? I could keep all my fingers in a bucket in my room, my skin could hang out in the back yard and get all the tan it wanted, and my legs might spend a lot of time in the same vicinity as my bicycle since they love it so much. Then what?

I would be incapable of a sit-up, of cycling, of walking, or any other useful function... including life!

I can’t help but wonder if Jesus ever feels this frustration. The Church (Individual Christian) is His body, His chosen manner for initiating His will and revealing His glory on earth. We are the body of Christ. He desires us to be united (Eph 4, 1 Cor 12-13 etc) and to use our gifts for both His glory and the building up of His body (i.e. other Christians). We are to be one body with different members who display different gifts for mutual edification and growth (Eph 4:12-13).

When I look at the Church today I cannot help but ask myself how Jesus feels about the way His body is divided and separated. Are we a strong witness to the world, displaying through our unity the glory of a God who transforms people into new creatures to reflect His selfless love toward others, or do we incapacitate His will by dividing ourselves based on our own personal flavor of His image? As I look at the denominational and institutional ‘churches’ of our day I do see a lot of good going on. Certainly there are a lot of good intentions, too, but I believe we do damage to Christ’s image when we separate His body based on our own perspective or ‘doctrinal’ preferences.

I am reminded of a poem by John Godfrey entitled “The Blind Men and the Elephant”. Feel free to skip it here if you know it already, but I have included it for those who haven’t had the pleasure.

“The Blind Men and the Elephant” by John Godfrey

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

II.
The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me!-but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

III.
The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried: "Ho!-what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me't is mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

IV.
The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

V.
The Fourth reached out his eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

VI.
The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

VII.
The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

VIII.
And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

MORAL.
So, oft in theologic wars
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

In the spirit of 1 Cor 13:12 I believe we can compare ourselves to the blind men in this poem. If I am like one of these men I will hold onto my limited knowledge and experience of God with a certainty and tenacity that naturally repels those who see Him differently and draws me naturally to others who seem to have similar experiences or views to my own. This is natural and human. Thus I end up worshipping with Christians who believe similar religious doctrines to mine, and separate myself from Christians who perhaps see the issue of free will/predestination differently, or who don’t interpret Revelation the same way I do. Not only do I separate myself based on beliefs like these, though, but also based on interpersonal things that make me feel uncomfortable. This might be as simple as worship music style, or it could be something more profound, like spiritual gifts.

I truly believe that many of the denominational differences can be traced to a difference of spiritual gifting. God’s gifts to His followers are intended to enable us to fulfill different roles within His unified body, but for us to do this, it requires that we stay connected intimately with those who are very different from ourselves. If I am a kneecap I don’t get to hang out with just all the other kneecaps. Nor even all the other bones. Rather, I fill the place where God has placed me in the body, beside sinews, skin, blood vessels, and muscles who all act very differently than I do and may make me feel awkward or self conscious. This kind of selfless unity is NOT natural or human, and unfortunately, neither is it very normal among our institutional, denominational church groups. I believe there has to be a better way. This better way would most certainly involve me being uncomfortable at times when I worship God together with people who worship in (perhaps radically) different ways. That doesn't matter. Worship and fellowship isn't about my self image or comfort zone. For the strength of Christ's body we must learn to get over our different preferences and obey Him.

Jesus said that they will know we are Christians by our love. Today, Christians are known by our hypocrisy and our division. I feel God calling me to a Kingdom and Body that is radically different than our current religious system. I don’t know all the answers, but I am seeking to know the right questions to ask. I invite you to prayerfully seek God along these lines as well, for I believe God has way more glory to reveal through His body than we can ever imagine.

Feel free to comment below and If you are interested in thinking more along these lines and want some ideas for books that will likely challenge your paradigms of religious structure, be sure to let me know!

In Truth,

-Stephen-

Is Good Government bad for the Church?

2010-10-29T20:22:00.000-07:00

I have recently spent a lot of hours over the course of 5 months working on a political campaign for a friend of mine who I believe will make a fantastic government leader if he is elected next Tuesday. I have always believed in the value of responsible citizens being involved in the American political process. As a youngster growing up in a homeschooler family in the 1980s and early 90s I saw the difference that can be made by activism and purposeful involvement. Through political leadership by countless homeschoolers and their supporters laws were changed, lives were changed and I believe America is better because of it. I do see it as the responsibility of every citizen and especially every Christian to be aware and involved in the governance of our country. Yet, I see around me a different America than has existed in the past. As I go door to door spreading the word about a visionary candidate I see a variety of types of people. I am sad to admit that many of them are simply different types of apathetic. I have seen a few motivated and interested people, but too few for America to claim, any longer, to be a healthy, vibrant democracy. However, these thoughts I am writing are not about America. At least not directly.

Rather, as I think about the government and apathy I can’t help making a mental transition to the church and apathy. Then I find myself asking a strange question. Could good government and religious freedom actually be bad for the church? Just as I believe our great political system has lulled many Americans into a lazy, comfortable cocoon of self-focused existence, perhaps our great political system has done the same thing to the members of Christ’s body living within it. A recent sermon I heard brought into focus for me the idea that in many cases the power of a Christian’s witness is directly correlated to their proximity to the threat of impending death. Basically, the more likely someone is to be martyred for their faith, or even to die in a different way, the stronger their witness for Christ can be. The Christian’s power comes from their lack of fear in the face of death. Death, as the end of our earthly life, is something most people spend their entire life trying to escape. To see a person unafraid in its very presence is astounding, unforgettable, inspiring.

The problem is that here in America, thanks to our great political system, Christians have not spent much time close enough to death to be such powerful witnesses. I won’t go into the differences between the church here in the states vs. the church in China or other countries where active persecution exists. I don’t think I need to. All we need to do is read the stories in Acts, in Revelation, and perhaps Hebrews 11 to see that America’s church does not present to the world the same kind of spiritual power that existed when the first century church was enduring persecution, and yet growing by leaps and bounds at the same time. I believe we in the American churches, like the American voters, are also apathetic. We seek first the kingdom of the American Dream, and hope that all the things we want will be added unto us. Sure we believe in God and want to go to heaven some day, but when God investigates the true motives of most hearts sitting in church pews, I doubt He finds too many that burn brightly enough with the fire of His Spirit to light the world on fire. I doubt this because the world is not yet burning with the passion for God that would be set free through the surrender of such hearts to His will.

It seems that a lazy church is brought about by a lack of difficulty, a lack of persecution, and a glut of things and possessions which lead us down a path different from that which is marked by the nail scarred footprints. Between the footprints on this pathway there are also other things; things which bear names like surrender, giving, testing, persecution. Yet that is not all! I hear its travelers experience unending gifts of eternal peace, love, and life in addition to the trials. Too few follow this path, though, for we are too happy in our own little worlds.

Fortunately, God is not happy with us in our own little worlds. I recently read Gene Edwards book, The Divine Romance, which illustrates powerfully, among other things, the lengths to which God will go to pursue His bride, His church. The prophets spoke of this passion, God the Father told of this passion through His acts of creation, through His acts of love and even His acts of vengeance, and then Jesus acted on this passion, pouring it out with His very life for us. Until we learn to pour out our lives for Him in response, I believe God will keep acting on His love, whether we like it or not. Why would we not like it? Because sometimes the love of God pushes us to give up the path of our choosing and seek the one He made us for. Sometimes this pushing hurts. I believe the church in America needs to be hurt. I can’t say I am praying for God to bring us persecution, but I fear that may be His only recourse to wake us up. My prayer is yet that He would find a way to light the fire in hearts without the pain of suffering for our faith. My hope is that it is still a productive activity to involve ourselves in government and seek to make our country better. I hope we may yet open our hearts to His flame, and enlivened by His power abandon the apathy that plagues our land. The reality is that the flame is coming. The only question is whether we give ourselves to its power and let God revive our hearts or whether we resist the flame until we are consumed by it. Either way we die. One way we receive back life again; life everlasting. May we choose wisely.

In Truth,
Stephen

Advice from an apostle...building on the Rock

2009-10-04T13:07:00.000-07:00

It comes as no surprise that any process of spiritual growth starts with faith. Faith must come first for we are saved by faith. We are not saved by any process, work, activity or goodness. It is simply through true, honest faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord. However, our spiritual growth after salvation is often comparable to a house whose foundation has been laid. We have had a bunch of dirt and junk dug out of us and a true, strong foundation laid, which foundation is Christ in us. Paul even uses this metaphor in 1 Corinthians 3 to illustrate how we are responsible to build on the foundation Christ puts in our lives through His work of grace. We do have a responsibility to work with the gifts God gives us, to act and obey, to build on the foundation. That is what Peter tells us here, he says to add to your faith moral excellence. The step which best follows our surrender to Christ’s Lordship is clearly to begin lining up the motivations, attitudes and actions of our lives with His values. This will mean some changes in the why and the what we do in our daily lives. These changes are not “works salvation” but simply the next step in the construction process. God will begin to convict us and lead us into the image of Christ. I suppose for some this may be a quick process, I don’t know; but it certainly wasn’t for me. I concur with Paul’s complaints about the difficulty of lining up his actions with the desires of the Holy Spirit who was working within him to change his desires to fit his Lord’s. Our natural course is to follow the desires of our sinful nature, usually just the opposite of God’s choice. The journey to change has indeed been a long process for me, and one which is far from over. The Lord works in me like a master craftsman shaping the details of the structure upon the foundation of Christ. He encourages me to choose and step out in obedience, not to shrink back in fear. I know that I am not capable on my own, none of us are, yet that is not to make us slothful in simply ‘waiting on the Lord to guide us’. Peter encourages us here to act, to add, to add, to add, to continue acting, to do something ourselves. This is important, for though it is through Christ that we get the power, still we must take proactive steps ourselves. The first and perhaps only proactive step necessary or dare I say possible, is obedience.

After moral excellence in this list comes knowledge. We are urged to add knowledge to our moral excellence. Now I am a firm believer in the simplicity of the gospel and of our need to be like children in our faith, but I am also aware of the power we receive by knowledge. We should seek to have our eyes open til we can see and understand the true nature of the reality of this world we live in. This type of knowledge comes only through study and the learning of details beyond the simple faith and moral goodness of popular Christianity. As we look deeper into Christ’s parables, for example, we learn how the kingdom of God works and apply the truth to our lives. Another illustration of the importance of knowledge for me personally is the understanding God is giving me through studying about the image of God in humanity. I want to understand what it means for us to live out his likeness in our world today. Or, knowledge can even come from study in school, as unbelievable as that may be :) I was blessed deeply a couple years ago in Christian Theology class studying the academic understanding of the nature of God Himself. All these are simply examples that occur to me to illustrate the value of knowledge to the Christian. Paul urges us to seek the meat of the word, not the milk only. We are to search for knowledge.

Of course the caution in all this is the reminder that knowledge puffs up and creates prideful people apart from humility and love. Worldly knowledge is diametrically opposed to the knowledge of God, so we must use discernment when choosing where and what we search for, but search we must if we wish to continue the growth process. They say that knowledge is power, and through knowledge of Truth we truly do gain spiritual power to overcome and live victoriously. More on this later.
The next step is self control. I wonder sometimes what caused Peter to put these in the particular order he did. I almost think I would have put this one earlier, perhaps paired beside moral excellence. They seem to go together well, but for some reason Peter didn’t ask me. Perhaps he knew that until we have developed a knowledge base to inform our theology and our worldview we could be in danger from too much focus on morality. With self control can come legalism, criticism and judgment. Could it be that people focusing solely on morality and self control without a deeper knowledge of how our lives are supposed to work, they could easily become caught in a trap of pharisaism? Besides that, it may be here that we apply the knowledge in another way. It is through the knowledge we gain from studying spiritual warfare, for example, that we are empowered to overcome temptations and to live victoriously over sloth and any bad habit that opposes self control. Perhaps that is why Peter put self control in the list where he did. Certainly it is something we cannot neglect, else we live like yo-yo Christians, sin and repent, sin and repent, time after time without any true change. We must build up our habits just like supports within a house to keep everything up, or the walls will fall every time we prop them up again with good intentions.

So knowledge leads us into self control, and Peter says we must continue in perseverance. It would not work to build and support one wall of the house and stop. A persevering builder will keep on keepin’ on and git–r-done. Perseverance is continuing when all the world tells you “hey by the way, nobody uses those old outdated foundations anymore”. Perseverance is going on when your generator power goes out, when your subcontractor steals your supplies, your hammer arm feels like it’s been run over by the cement truck and the government raises your property taxes through the roof. Literally. Or something like that. We must not grow tired of doing good, but persevere in the process of growth, of moral excellence, knowledge and self control, all infused with divine power by our faith in our foundation.

In our perseverance we are told to add godliness. Now, I tend to think that if anyone can do the first few steps in this process, they must have already achieved a level of godliness so far beyond my scope that it would be like the Empire State Building compared to my little house I think I am building. Nonetheless, the list goes on. My uncertainty about this step in Peter’s process tells me I must not have reached this point yet, but here are a few thoughts that occur to me. As these are simply my thoughts, who know how close they lie to reality, but I try to think, what could change to make a person more godly at this point in the growth process? In what other way is God different from humanity that we must change to be more like Him? Moving beyond personal goodness, I see the other completely un-human thing about God is His care for others. He is focused on the well being of us humans, rather than on ease or enjoyment for Himself. Up to this point in the process, everything we are told to work on relates only to ourselves and our choices. We believe in Christ, we try to please Him in our actions and our desires; we try to control ourselves and persevere. Here perhaps, God wishes to change our focus outward to help others also become like Him. I notice that every one of the rest of the following steps in this process relate to other people, not to our self only. Perhaps there comes a point at which God has developed our actions and thoughts to the level that we see the world to some extent as if through His eyes. Then we can begin to know how to invest in other people around us. In fact, the next step in our growth process is brotherly kindness, the treating of everyone around us as family. Now in reality Christians ARE our family and even more, they are parts of our very own body if we are truly part of the body of Christ. Knowing this, I am astounded by the unbelievable level of segregation and criticism and general dysfunction within the church. We aren’t just speaking of a house divided, but of a body whose limbs and organs are seeking to perform completely different and often counter-productive and self destructive goals. I never wish to meet a person whose physical body functions as poorly as much of the body of Christ does today.
We are urged elsewhere in Scripture to rather treat others with love “especially those of the household of faith”. In addition, since we are taught to love everyone, including our enemies, we know that this idea should carry over to those who are not Christians and even those who are directly opposed to us. Love is, in fact the next and final point in Peter’s process here. Love moves beyond merely treating others like family, for it is the most important and fundamental thing according to Paul in 1 Corinthians 13, where he ranks love even higher than the very faith that began this whole journey.

The reason, perhaps, is that love is truly the deepest motivation for all the good that has, will, is, or can take place. It was God’s desire to share His love that brought about our creation, and love of course, was the motive for our salvation and is the most profound level of our growth. Love is more than selflessness, love is more than action, it is more than giving up for others. Love is a heart-level choice, powered by our will. It is deeper than the mind, much deeper than emotion. It is a value choice to put another individual in the place of self. With love, our innate instinct for self preservation begins to vanish, replaced by a powerful drive for His glorification. There is no need, and we have no ability, to preserve or protect the person or safety of God as we desire to do for our own. Our responsibility is for His name. Our life becomes a sacrifice poured out to bolster His reputation. That is the choice that empowers our drive to love other people. It matters not whether they deserve love, return our love, or even know we exist. We are to love them regardless. Now we make the same choice for other people that we made in regards to God. Their well-being becomes more important to us than our own. Of course, remember that it is their well-being we seek, not whatever they may want from us or expect us to do or not to do. There is a reality in tough love that is true. At times the most loving thing we can do for a person is the very thing they don’t want. The motivation is key, for love is a will level motivation. When making difficult relational decisions, those inspired by love are never at the same time driven by spite, self interest, ego or any other sinful desire. This is; of course, completely foreign to any natural human motivation, but that is truly the point. If we submit to God’s process of spiritual growth I believe the love of Christ truly will compel us to love others, to glorify God and live as He desires. Peter put it this way: For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

That is a goal I am willing to work for
What about you?

In Truth,
Stephen

The Risk of Reality

2009-09-19T10:52:00.000-07:00

I have been reading 1 Corinthians 12 where Paul discusses how the church is the body of Christ. I see in this chapter and in other places in Paul’s writings (like Romans 12) a picture of healthy relationships. When I read words like “so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.” And “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” I begin to get excited. I will admit to being a dreamer and an optimist but I can’t help but think how awesome a truly selfless Christian community might be. Now, when the rubber hit the road I am most certainly too selfish to actually enjoy living in such a place even if I had the opportunity, but I like the idea anyway. What if we truly put Christ’s goals (as he is the head of the body) above our own, and learned to think like He does? What if the mental transformation spoken of in Romans 12:2 permitted individual Christians like me to begin to make decisions based on the mission of Christ and based on love for others rather than self interest? Our minds would be the first to change, I assume, but after we began to make decisions based on Jesus’ wishes, perhaps even our hearts would begin to change too, until eventually we might not simply conform our ultimate decisions to His will but our very emotions as well. Our natural desire for attention and personal gratification could begin to become an honest (not a fake) preference for the happiness or the good for other people around us.

Would Christ’s body then truly begin to be “known by our love”? I can only imagine the glory Christ would gain if we truly lived out this vision we have received. Church members would be known as giving people…and I don’t speak of money. Church members could be known as caring people, not as hypocritical people. How awesome would that be? What if the emotional needs of other people became high priorities for us? We might set aside our own agendas and reach out to the weak, the fearful, the wounded, both inside and outside the church body. Yes, there are hurting people inside the church, no matter how much we may try to hide it and put our best foot forward. A body helps the sick cells, the wounded member. We are to have “equal concern for each other” and to “suffer with those who suffer”.

I say that it is time to put aside the myth that becoming a Christian fixes all our difficulties. It does not normally immediately reverse and restore all problems we have and all hurts we have experienced, past and future. God does not call us into the church to escape pain in the world, nor does He promise us perfect lives. Why then, would we pretend to have such lives? Why do church members hide their problems and put on a front of shallow happiness? God did not call us to such a life, but to a real life. Bodies that live in the real world do get hurt. We get scratched on a thorn bush, or we get poison ivy. We break an arm in a car wreck or get shot and paralyzed from the waist down. That is real life for a real person with a real body. Jesus lives such a life. His body is not free from wounds; his life was full of pain and suffering.

The difference is what we do with our hurts. The world tells us to hide them, to pretend to be whole. We know that only the fittest survive, so we want to be perfect. What does Jesus do when He is weak? When He is tired? When He is being tortured? He heals people. He speaks the Truth to them, sets them free. He prays that their sins be forgiven.

Jesus is our role model, folks.

If we, as members of His body, are in community with each other putting the needs of those around us first, no one gets left out. Instead of hiding our pain and getting on as best we can we learn to be honest, to admit that we are wounded and let other people help us heal. Then we also reach out to them to help them heal. We can’t do it alone. A broken arm can’t heal itself. It must be connected to the heart, to the nervous system and the other organs, controlled by the brain.

Sometimes I wonder why God does not simply do everything Himself. Why does he leave it up to us when we are so incapable? Perhaps it is because He is willing to risk the possibility of pain for the immense joy of real life experienced in community with other loving hearts. Just as a brain cannot do everything itself in a physical body, so God limits himself in order to allow us as members of His body to experience real life ourselves…if we are willing to risk it.

In Truth,
Stephen

Not built to be broken

2009-09-16T17:46:00.000-07:00

Perhaps you also have noticed that our world is a little messed up. Life is hard. We all go through pain in life and it often seems like it comes both earlier AND later. Though we see this daily in front of us it is hard for us to simply accept that pain and suffering is reality. To quote a friend of mine named Brittany, we were not built to be broken. The human spirit was made for better than what we see each day on the street corner, in the office cubicle, the classroom, the living room, anywhere. Somehow we know this. Within each person is sparking a light that lives on, even through unimaginable pain and heart-wrenching anguish of soul. We feel that there could be more; that this world should be more, that our lives mean more than simply coping with self esteem and tough decisions and living through chaos and rejection. So the real question is: What does all this have to do with this blog?

How astute you are, I am glad you asked :)

I believe our world WAS built for better. We are living on a crippled planet, raised in broken families, living lives assailed by the same enemy who introduced the broken-ness into our world. It was not intended that way, it has been changed. Never forget that though now broken, it was all once whole and beautiful. We really need no reminding that though once created whole and beautiful; it is all now tragically broken. Most probably, you have been aware of this for years. Broken nature, broken humanity, broken families, broken humans. Very few people are blessed to grow up in a home with two parents who stick together through it all and seek to raise their children with love. Even fewer of these truly experience the real and immense blessing of growing up in a family that works like it is supposed to, nurturing children in the right direction, helping them become responsible, confident, godly adults. If you are one of these very few, praise God! I cannot say that I am. Now, I am blessed by God in many ways, and I love my parents dearly. I am very grateful both to them and to God for all they did for me, especially my mother. I do not know what I would have done without her. Even more so I am grateful to God for His loving care for me just as is mentioned in Psalm 68:5.

God has indeed been calling me down a path for several years now, a path of discovery. He has taken my hand and led me and taught me as much as I have been willing to learn. He has loved, forgiven, empowered, inspired and loved some more. And forgiven some more, too. I cannot begin to thank Him enough, knowing how little I deserved any of this and knowing in ugly detail how far down He had to reach at times, to keep helping me along.

To prevent this from becoming too long, I will try to get immediately to, if not THE point, then at least to A point. God has taught me that healing and wholeness come from community and openness. It all began with confessing a few petty sins I had on my conscience back when I was 14. God has since continued to push me toward openness about my struggles or my ideas. I believe we are built for community, to talk and laugh and cry and breathe together with other people by our side. Not alone. Not hidden. That is the way for me to return as closely as possible to the original wholeness and beauty of life. It is about reconnecting with God first, allowing Him to restore the relationship He intended with me and going from there. Growing from there. So, here I am now, writing on the www about what I think, what I feel, what I struggle. Here goes. I do hope you will make comments as we go along, I don’t want to be doing this all alone.

Sometimes I will be posting stories about lessons God has taught or is teaching me. Sometimes I may review books that have helped me grow, or interview friends who have meant a lot to me. This is an attempt at an open, honest, journey to a whole, Christ-centered life. Perhaps you are on such a journey yourself…perhaps you are ready to consider beginning? I hope so, and so does someone else whose opinion matters much more than mine :)

In Truth,

Stephen

My Fair Share of Mercy

2009-07-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

I got to thinking about mercy the other day. Mercy is God NOT being fair to me. Seriously, If God were fair I would be in so much trouble. The evil that is in my heart is so great that fairness from God would include only separation and pain for me. His mercy is what allows me to even speak to him, to even ask Him for more mercy, to even be alive. So I just became aware the other day of how much mercy I 'use up'. Anyway, I began thanking God for His mercy and I commented that I was using more than my share of His mercy. He just keeps showing mercy no matter how many times I disobey or forget about living my life for Him. Well, He put me straight by reminding me that there is no such thing as a 'fair share' of mercy. I am still thinking about this from a selfish, human perspective. Fairness would give none, but God gives limitlessly. Amazing!

What that means is that God is willing to give mercy, to give grace, to give love without limit or measure. We are the only ones who push in the plug at times to limit how much we can get, so to speak. How do I do that, I wondered. How do I limit the amount of mercy God can show me, or the amount of love? I am reminded of verses from the Word like Matthew 7:1-2 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" or Matthew 5:7 "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy" or James 2:13 "Judgment will be merciless to him who shows no mercy, mercy triumphs over judgment".

It seems that I can limit God's mercy to me by withholding it from others. I am convicted by this. At times I am a harsh critic of others. I can see the 'faults' and sins in other people and I find myself judging them. What am I thinking? How could I dare to criticize anyone after the mistakes I make? I remind myself of the servant in one of Jesus' parables who was forgiven a huge debt of money. He turned immediately around and threw a friend into prison because he couldn't pay back a tiny sum owed to the first man. What arrogance! What idiocy! Who am I, I ask myself. I must seek a heart free of judging and attempt to learn the law of mercy. Blessed are the merciful...

In Truth,
Stephen

Which mirror won't lie?

2009-06-22T09:56:00.000-07:00

I got to thinking the other day…that is usually a mistake! :) Fortunately, this time it seemed to be helpful. Here is what has been occurring to me. It seems that each generation has its crisis point issue. It is the challenge of the times that must be met and defeated. Not to say there can’t be more than one tough issue, or that they must be spaced out exactly by the generation, but there are defining struggles throughout the years that shape the collective minds of the youth of the day. In the earlier years of our nation, I believe national identity was a crisis point for everybody. Who would we be as a nation, our values and structure, all those important details.

Somewhere after the Civil War, our identity became more of a foregone assumption and we began to struggle with placing that identity in the larger world picture. Not that this didn’t happen at all before, but it was in the 20th century that the U.S. became a large player on a world scale. The new struggle here was national self esteem. How do our identities and values measure up to the standards of the other world powers? We proved to the world throughout the early 20th century and beyond that we were a force to be reckoned with; thereby validating ourselves as worthy of respect on a national scale.

In the latter half of the 20th century it seems that the issue became less about national issues and shifted to personal ones. I don’t mean to say that individuals didn’t matter before, but the changing times of the 60s and 70s led many to rethink personal identity in light of new ideas and beliefs. This was for most folks my age, our parent’s generation. Their crisis point was personal or self-identity. Ours is different. I believe it is self esteem.

There are many reasons for this, though I don’t have time to go into them too much. I believe that for many the breakdown of the family has been the main factor. Many young people in this modern society, myself included, grew up in less than perfect homes. Without good relationships with both their parents children often grow up wondering if they are valuable. I believe we are experiencing the results of a parenting crisis in these days. I have felt the question that all of us are asking, I have asked it myself. Am I valuable? Do people like me? We need to know that we are loved and appreciated.

So, we seek affirmation from those around us. Sometimes it is through a romantic relationship, or a mentor, teacher or friend. Sometimes it is through acting out in desperation for attention or joining gangs or other groups with bad influences. We often trade our souls to our peers in order to obtain the recognition and validation we so desperately crave, forgetting that they have nothing for us. They are just as desperately seeking the same thing. Here is how I see this type of quest for value:

Person A feels that he is not valuable. He has “low self esteem”. Person A somehow decides consciously or more often unconsciously that if he can ‘fit-in’ with group X that he will feel better. A sets out to impress the members of X, evaluating his own self-worth based on his perception of how group X views him. He is creating an identity for himself based on his perception of others’ perception of him! I don’t see this as a good situation at all, yet many of us caught in this trap without even realizing it. Group X could easily be replaced with, say parent B or girlfriend C, or anybody else and the same could still apply. We enslave ourselves to others impressions of us, performing our lives on a stage to impress and please people who don’t hold the answer to the question we ask. I believe there is a better way.
My eyes were opened to this a few years ago as God began to teach me how He saw me. He told me that He loved me. He had died for me after all :) God enabled me to begin shifting my self-image from resting on my perceptions of what others thought about me to the place where I could place it squarely upon Him. He is my creator, he made me for the role I fill in life. It makes sense after all that His opinion should be the one that matters, not the views of parents, friends, or any other well-meaning but fallible individuals. Not that they were no longer important. I still am glad to be a part of community and I value my relationships with all the above-mentioned people. I am simply not depending on their opinion of me for validation of my self-image.

I still have so much to learn in this area and I feel that I know the next step. It is better to forget about myself altogether, in simple humility thinking only of God and others. Not that I debase myself, but simply that my focus and energies are so absorbed in serving Jesus that I am unaware of my own “self-image”. Well, folks, I am nowhere near there. That is my goal but I am still working on this first step of understanding myself through God’s perspective. What I do know is that He made each person in this world for a specific reason, and He died to reestablish a personal relationship with each of us. Our true identities can ONLY be found in Him, not in anything else. All other roads lead to emptiness, false selves, and play-acting at life. Those who wish to be truly genuine and comfortable in who they are when the show is over will seek their identity and value in the one place it can be met and filled once and for all: In the person of Jesus Christ. He is the link our generation is looking for, he can connect us to both who we truly are and a proper understanding of how that innermost self is truly loved by God in spite of the imperfections.

In Truth,
Stephen

A day on two wheels

2009-05-23T16:53:00.000-07:00

I rode 100 miles on my Bicycle today. If you have ever done so yourself you probably understand what that entails and what I am feeling right now. However, for the majority who have not had the privilege of such an experience, let me tell you how it went down...

6:15 AM. Out of bed, slowly. 3 and 3/4 hours is not enough sleep for one night...

8:10 AM. Arrive in Georgetown where the Horsey Hundred ride started. Realized I left my tire pump at home. Borrowing one, I prepare to start. A hundred or so of the day's 2000-ish riders mill around the starting point as I arrive to look for my friend Steve who is meeting me there. I find him by spotting his bright orange tube socks...Don't ask. Well, ok, since you insist on knowing why he was wearing bright orange tube socks on a bicycle ride-he was using them, along with a T-shirt to promote the fundraiser he was helping with.

8:30 AM. We start riding, He on his Orange Trek with aero bars and me on my gray Independent Fabrications Club Racer with my pannier rack bag full of energy food and repair tools-just in case.

9:05 AM. About 10 miles into the ride I strike up a conversation with Katrina, a girl from Dayton, Ohio who has driven down each of the last 5 years to do this ride. She is a fast, competitive rider and is a little frustrated with her friend she brought with her...her friend is not fast. :(

9:20 AM. Steve and I tag in with a group of about 15 riders who are riding together. Riding together like this allows us to go faster, as leaders of the pack can rotate, permitting those in the rear the benefit of riding in their wake, so to speak. This is called drafting, it is easier to ride behind another rider-there is less wind resistance. We ride with this group for about 15 miles.

9:46 AM. I meet Keith, a ride leader for the Bluegrass Cycling Club. He is a mustachioed, muscular character who organizes 2-3 rides per week with the club. He was wise enough to wear a cloth skullcap under his helmet. I would later wish for one myself as sweat drizzled down into my eyes from under my own protective covering.

10:15 AM. Steve and I leave rest stop #2 ahead of the group thinking they will catch up to us soon. They never really do, leaving us riding more on our own from about mile 38 on. I guess that means we were going fast though, right?

11:02 AM. The hills begin. The ride was fairly flat up to this point, but NO MORE! Now hill after hill roll under our tires like waves. Unfortunately, it did not feel as effortless as waves always appear. We had to work for our hills, climb by climb, one pedal stroke at a time--much to the chagrin of my buddy Steve :)

11:24 AM. Leaving the last pre-lunch rest stop at mile point 46 we see Keith and his group entering the rest area as we leave. Slowpokes! :)
Also at this rest stop I noticed a very impressive individual. A man of approximately 55 years with a prosthetic leg, riding his bike...fast! I stand in amazement of his fortitude.

12:09 PM. Mile 55. After passing the Lexington airport, we ride on Man O War to arrive at Keeneland, our lunch stop. I eat my Peanut Butter sandwiches while admiring the 500+ beautiful, two wheeled machines lined up against the fences and under the trees. After about 15 minutes to eat we roll on. Too much of a break would make our muscles sore and stiff. Er..sorer and stiffer.

12:36 PM. Our muscles tell us to go back to lunch again.

1:07 PM. At mile 68 Steve begins to wish he had taken the mile point 65 turn off which would have allowed him to finish the ride at 73 miles instead of 102...
We are both feeling each of the 68 miles in our legs, backs, necks...all over really :)

1:49 PM. Steve and I have been talking of teaching, school, triathlons, basketball and many other things, getting to know one another better. We only met 6 days ago actually, through a mutual cycling friend.

2:15 PM. Steve is tiring and tells me I should go on ahead. He has many other cyclists passing and riding near to keep him company. We are at mile point 73 more or less.

2:30 PM. At mile 76 I finally follow Steve's advice, planning to wait for him at the rest stop at mile 81. Upon arrival, I am exhausted. I pushed myself hard those 5 miles and it was pretty hilly. I fill water bottles and wait in the shade for Steve.

2:40 PM. Afraid Steve may have passed by the rest stop, I decide to head on the the finish point to meet him.

2:45 PM. I hurt.

2:46 PM. I hurt BAD! Not only that I can't seem to ride very quickly...what is the deal? It's like I have already ridden 80 miles or something.

3:15 PM. At mile 89 it begins to rain. I welcome this for the cool wetness :) You know how rain is. It felt great!

3:17 PM. My socks and shoes are soaked.

3:18 PM. I realize the rain has frozen up my cyclecomputer...it stops recording my mileage. Sad day. I must now motivate myself by something besides the numbers on the screen...no more average speed, current speed, nothing. Just zeros :(

3:27 PM. I use other riders as my motivation. I see one ahead in a yellow jersey, I must catch up! There is another beyond now, in orange. They become my new goal. I am plagued by a group of four guys behind me too, I must not let them catch up :)
I pedal on, unsure how fast I am going. I think I am going slowly...

3:50 PM. I know I must be nearing the end as I pass and am passed (more of the latter) other riders in the final miles. That one pesky guy in the white jersey, I have been completely unable to catch him, he is too fast!

3:55 PM. Finally I enter town again, back in Georgetown at last! I follow the riders ahead to the ending point at the college campus. I find myself at my car, lying in the back seat. I am sweaty, covered in gross old sunscreen, and dead beat tired. I want a shower.

4:00 PM. I reconnect with Steve, who it turns out was only a couple minutes behind me since the rest stop at mile 81. I meet his friends who did the 50 mile ride decked out in their own orange tube socks.

I am too tired to look at the vendor booths selling cycling gear and food, I am too tired to talk intelligently with Steve and his friends. I do not want any of the whole barbecued pig that is available for riders. I want to go home.

I do so.

One day, one hundred miles, two wheels. Fun? You bet!

Results:

Sunburn, 5% of my body
Sore Muscles, 68% of them
Tired, 90% of me
Stronger than before the ride? Yes
Thinking other people should try this at home? Definitely (after proper training)
Looking forward to next time? Expectantly!
Going to bed now? As soon as possible!

In Truth,
Stephen

Playing It Unsafe, Chapter 3

2009-05-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

Playing It Unsafe

Installment 3

Here is the last section, finishing out the story...to see the first two sections, look back at the previous posts :)

His sword hit the ground first, digging into the surface of the battlefield. As it swayed softly, hilt upright it seemed to represent Pwan’s surrender of all that he valued; the comfortable, leather-wrapped handle of control and the sharp blade of vengeance, intersected in a cross-like fashion by the protective hand guard. The shield, the helmet, breastplate and armored collar followed in quick succession, each resounding with commitment as it struck the surface of a black or white square behind Pwan. He could feel the difference as he moved. Lightened from the heavy encumbrances his steps quickened; walk to a jog, then running outright.

Though still unsure why he was running, Pwan felt certain he was doing the right thing. He could feel the joy of the King in seeing him obey and heard the cheers from his friends, urging him on. They seemed to want him to succeed, but what was his goal? All he saw ahead after a few more squares of field was the edge; the end of the world as he knew it and in the enemy territory to boot. Pwan wasn’t fooling himself, he knew Pawns can’t go back-he could end up pinned by the edge in the very heartland of the opponent’s power.

Inexplicably, his enemies did not seem to want him to get there. He could read surprise and perhaps fear in the eyes of the first ones he passed. As soon as they could react they began chasing him. He saw the Knight who had captured the Queen up ahead. He was cutting a corner, heading to intersect Pwan’s course. It looked like Pwan’s run would end there, at the point of the Knight’s spear. Why hadn’t he brought his sword? At least he could have put up a fight with it, now he would just be taken shamefully with no struggle. He had no time to stop, no space to reconsider, and could still feel the King, willing him forward into the very path of the dark horseman.

At the last second a friend appeared out of nowhere. Flying past Pwan like a kite before a living wind was the white Bishop freed earlier by the Queen’s heroism. He moved in to threaten the enemy King, distracting the Knight just long enough for Pwan to get by. The Bishop forced the Knight to fight him in order to protect his own dark leader, thereby freeing the way for the little runner. He was sacrificing himself to help Pwan succeed!

Though not understanding much of what was going on around him, unaware that threatening forces were closing rapidly around his King, and with no idea of what he was going to do, Pwan was yet very aware that for some reason he must reach the far edge of the field. With the Knight out of the way he was closing fast, tears of joy streaming down his face, hardly able to believe he had made it this far.

Suddenly, there he was. Pwan slid to a stop in the very last square, panting, exhausted in every way. He had made it! His joy, though, was dampened by the unknown. What came next, now that he was here? He only had a moment to wonder before something happened that he never would have believed. Pwan had his first encounter with something from outside his checked field of experience. Someone was speaking, it seemed. Speaking to him!

“Is it your wish, Pawn, to give yourself up to ransom another prisoner?”

It is an ancient, primal law that provides this ability of transfer to the Pawns. Though the weakest of the warriors, they may yet become the most powerful through an act of chosen surrender, forcing the release of another prisoner captured in battle. They must go to the enemy stronghold, up to the very gates of the prison containing those taken in the combat and demand the exchange. It was this power, this timeless right that Pwan’s opponents had feared when they saw him dash for the edge of the field, toward their stronghold and prison gate. They feared him because he ran with abandon, holding nothing back. They feared him because they understood the inherent power that grows from acts of complete surrender. They feared him still, waiting breathless and silent for his decision. Would he follow through with the surrender of the very last thing he had, his freedom?

For Pwan, the decision seemed less difficult than his enemies supposed. His real choice had been made back on the battlefield when he dropped his weapons and set out on this all or nothing journey. It had been there that he had chosen surrender, giving up his own freedom and safety, trusting his leader. This now was simply an extension of that choice already made to follow the directions from his King. But that was not the half of it. One thing was going through Pwan’s mind as he stood there looking into his future, deciding what it should be. He could see clearly in his mind the lighted fire of love and concern he had seen earlier in the concentrated eye of the King as he had watched his Queen. He remembered, too, the Queen’s heroic, sacrificial rescue that led to her capture, and he knew what his choice must be.

As he spoke, Pwan’s voice held a new quality of confidence, illustrating the certainty he now had in the truth of what he was doing. No more questions remained, and no hesitation. Fearless and clear, his voice cut through the expectant silence that was holding the battle in breathless anticipation.

“Yes” he said “I want to give up myself to redeem the Queen!”

Afterward

The Queen’s reentry into the battle upset the balance of power and changed the momentum of action. She was so near the black King and was able to work together with Battlebar to affect a swift victory for the White army. Other soldiers helped too, of course. The Knight had a critical role in finishing the opponent and even Panzi did his part by helping block the Black Queen from reaching the action until it was all over.

The King and Queen were ever grateful to Pwan for his willingness to do the unthinkable in the face of danger. He, a mere Pawn, had made the deciding move that had saved their army and their people from certain disaster. It was his willingness to abandon his own desire for security, vengeance and personal glory that enabled him to choose the path of true glory in surrender.

Panzi was never the same again after that battle. The lessons he had learned about trust and attitude helped him become one of the most positive coaches for new Pawns the army had ever seen. He would regale the new recruits with humorous stories of days gone by and inspire them by recounting the story of Pwan the Valliant, the Pawn who had given up all thoughts for himself and run desperately through dangerous enemy territory to purposely force them to put him into prison. He would tell them all about how the battle worked, introduce them to the other troops and impress them with the idea that no matter what all they should always trust the King.

Battlebar, for his part in the victory, was nominated for the Brick and Stone Wall of Fame, a prestigious honor for any Rook. Upon receiving the placement, he was also given a new, improved outer wall using an upgraded type of brick, stronger and more durable. This wall proved to be a valuable addition, saving his life in a battle about six months later.

The Knight was promoted to the position of Lord Protector for the royal family and became famous for his wisdom and good counsel. He was eventually able to develop his own army, and as a King used his abilities of discernment and care for others to win great victories for the cause of truth and justice.

Pwan and Dreem got to reconnect in prison. Dreem had been able to learn much more about the things beyond the field, and they discussed his ideas to some length. They began to see their own lives on the field in a different perspective based on the larger reality. But that is another story for another time.

Upon their release from prison after the battle, Pwan was hailed a hero. He was praised and decorated, even given a gift by the FOP (Fraternal Order of Pawns). They had made him a walnut carving of his sword, rising cross-like from the surface of the battlefield where he had left it. He couldn’t quite say that he didn’t enjoy the attention for a short time, though his sacrifice soon faded into the story book of recent history, all but forgotten even by those who had lived through it. Attentions turned to newer things, newer people, but it mattered little to Pwan. He had a much more permanent motivation for his feelings of satisfaction in the part he had played. He knew he had given his all for a good cause. Unnecessary were the momentary cheers or praises of a crowd. Pwan knew he had obeyed his King and done what he needed to do. Awards were temporary, but he would always carry with him the lessons learned through surrender.

Symbolism and Notes

The names of the pawns are significant.

Pwan: Obviously a simple variant of Pawn, reinforcing his role as weak follower.

Panzi: (Pansy) relates to his fear and doubts about the King

Dreem: (Dream) points to his visionary role. He is the idealist who dies young…

Some may interpret the King as filling a God Role. That can work, and certainly there are elements of this. He could also in many ways be an earthly authority. Because of the unmentioned Chess player element, the King would not truly be in control, though he functions that way as far as the story is concerned. Certainly, the King communicates with his soldiers in a mystical, almost God-like way.

The ‘reality beyond’ that Dreem introduced; the world outside the chessboard represents the spiritual world, a reality we often overlook.

Pwan is part of the white (good) army vs the black (evil) army in the chess game.

At the moment where Pwan decisively surrenders, his sword becomes a cross symbol. This recalls Christ’s surrender on the cross in a subtle way while yet remaining very connected to the issues facing Pwan: Control, Vengeance and Security.

Beyond this there are many other ideas influencing this story. I have also attempted to include some elements and issues in the story that actually occur in our lives. Some examples are:

--Dealing with the ‘meaningless’ loss of a friend

--Lack of trust in a parent or authority figure is often a result of a weak relationship with them

--The question of where and how we place blame

--The difficulty of letting God work in his timing often creates impatience

--Vengeance

--Can we trust God even when we can’t see what’s going on

--Surrender to God’s will, regardless of personal comfort

--The Power of self sacrifice

Well, that is it! I wrote this story for a class called Narratives and Ideologies of Hollywood, where we studied story structure and writing techniques among many other things. Then, we put it into practice :) I hope you will comment and tell me what you think!

Thanks-

In Truth,

Stephen

Playing It Unsafe, Chapter 2

2009-05-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

Playing it Unsafe
A pawn learns about the power of surrender

Continued...If you haven't yet, read the previous post to see the first part of this story :)

Pwan looked to the King but his lips hadn’t moved. Had he heard right? It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go of course; Pwan was ready. He wanted to do something valuable, meaningful, something for Dreem. Pwan didn’t wait to be told again, he moved.
Up a space, forward another space, Pwan moved as quickly as he could. “Finally I get to do something,” he thought to himself. Unsure of how far to advance, Pwan stopped in a square next to another Pawn. It turned out to be his old companion, Panzi.
“Panzi, isn’t this great?” Pwan began. “We finally get to fight.”
“Oh, shur ‘tiz buddy” Panzi retorted with a tinge of sarcasm. “We don’t seem to be doin’ much help though, jus’ sittin’ here in th’ middle of the field, you know? Least it wuz safer further back-where the King’z at now.”
“Speaking of which, I think you are wrong about the King, Panzi” Pwan commented thoughtfully. “He really does care about each of us--you can see it in his face if you get up close.”
“Hmph! Ah’ll believe it when I sees it, that’s all.”
At that juncture, a Pawn stepped toward them from the ranks of the darker colored pieces across the way. Though still too distant for Pwan to make out his facial expression in detail, he had an impression that it was ugly and threatening. Here was a member of the group that had taken his friend; that was opposing his King and threatening his own safety. He was ready for the moment, prepared to show the world what he, Pwan, could do. He was ready to fight fiercely, full of the courage only love or hate can give.
Pwan turned to Panzi to tell him the strategy, but stopped short. Panzi himself had stopped short of all activity or movement, frozen in fear. Towering above him on the other side from Pwan was a literal tower of stone and brickwork. A veritable powerhouse of force it stood, its frowning parapets lined with weapons and rusty chains, ready for prisoners. If they had thought Battlebar Rook was fierce, the enemy seemed fiercer and stronger and bigger, blotting out the friendly sun with it’s grimly threatening shadow. The hysterical look on Panzi’s face told all he felt at that moment. His time had come and he knew it. All his bitterness and cynicism had taken flight, leaving only a heart full of stark terror in the face of certain doom.
Oddly though, instead of making a move, the Rook just sat there. All four eyes peeled, the pawns watched for any movement of the studded gates or iron-wrought window shutters. Nothing happened, the castle just sat there. Their eyes closely followed every pointed arrow or javelin tip visible in the turrets of stone, watching for an attack. Still nothing happened, the fortress just sat there and then…then it…just moved away. The Pawns looked at one another, disbelief reflecting disbelief in their wide eyes. What had just happened?
“Why’d ‘e leave?” gasped Panzi “he could’a captured me straight up!”
“I’ve no idea” answered Pwan, just as surprised.
“Itz like somebody has got to watchin’ out fer me…” the old soldier continued almost in a whisper.
Pwan’s concentration on his friend was interrupted when he suddenly noticed the enemy Pawn advancing again in the next row over. “Perfect positioning, Pwan-good job” he told himself while taking leave of his friend. The positioning was just right, the angles between himself and the other pawn were perfect for his most powerful attack moves. He counted spaces, calculated distance, evaluating the enemy’s approach with a knowing air. He tried not to notice his opponent’s face, which somehow didn’t seem as frightful or evil as he had imagined now that it was close enough for him to make out the emotions of its hesitant expression. Instead he focused on the movements, the spacing and the ever narrowing space between his enemy and his own prepared position. In his mind he could almost hear the songs and stories of this heroic battle being sung and retold across the battlefields of the future, the exploits of Pwan the Valliant inspiring countless other Pawns and perhaps even a Bishop or two to similar feats of courage and strength.
As the opponent drew near, Pwan pretended not to notice. With exaggerated actions he scanned the far horizon in the other direction, as if completely unaware of the presence of his foe. Yet from the corner of his eye he traced every curve of the grain of his enemy’s wooden construction and every movement he made. At just the right moment he sprang forward for the capture, all his strength and skill combined in a single gesture of confrontation. Success! The thrill of victory filled every fiber of Pwan’s being with an excitement he couldn’t begin to describe. He felt powerful, exultant in his strength, satisfied in his enemy’s downfall; a vengeance sweet as honey, giving him a heady sensation of capability and of fierce loyalty to his friend. It has been said, though, that even the delightful sweetness of honey is not sufficient to make up for the agony of eating too much of it. Pwan, flushed and over-full of the excitement of victory began to feel the inner agony immediately.
It was his own mistake, really. He looked at the face of the prisoner being led away, the defeated Pawn taken by surprise by his own move. He did not see a face of anger or evil, of hatred toward the world of good as he might have expected. No, the eyes that looked back into his own seemed to Pwan like the innocent, thoughtful eyes of Dreem, confused by what had just happened. That look of question from the prisoner on his way off the field left Pwan feeling as if he had just collided with a Rook. The sweetness was gone, replaced by an inner numbness and vacancy. What had he done? What were his own victim’s friends even now thinking of him? How could his actions be any better than those of his enemies?
The Queen moved past Pwan just then, awakening him from his guilt-ridden reverie. Looking up he saw her disappear in the direction of the enemy lines. She was always busy, powerful and confident. The mainstay of the army, she was the right-hand woman to the King, helping project his power across the board, encouraging and leading the troops. Consequently, she was always a great target for the enemy; she had to watch herself wherever she went. The opposing King was always trying to mastermind her capture.
Panzi moved up to join Pwan just then, followed shortly by a Knight, the very same gallant horseman who had disappeared earlier at the King’s bidding.
“Pwaun!” exclaimed the older pawn excitedly. “You’s never gonna guess what wuz up w’that thar Castle, b’lieve me.”
“Why, what happened?” Pwan wondered.
“This here Knight wuz jest a’sittin over yonder guarding me on account of the King’s very orders. We didn’t note him, but th’ Castle seed ‘im alright. That’s why he didn’t ‘tack us. I s’ppose you was right ‘bout the King, he does care!”
“That is correct” Interjected the Knight. “I was commissioned by the King to protect you two during your advance. He told me to keep you all safe.”
“Wait” Pwan interrupted “you mean the King was telling you where to move the whole time? How do you hear him? How can I hear him?”
“You must listen” responded the Knight with a smile “and not simply do whatever you personally want.”
Pwan felt pretty sheepish after his recent experience doing what he wanted with the enemy Pawn, but didn’t say anything about it to his companions.
“Look around you” encouraged the horseman, “watch how the battle is going. You must learn to focus on things besides your own desires. See what needs to happen for us to achieve victory and try to hear the King’s directions.”
“Thanks for the advice” Pwan responded thoughtfully. “I’ll try that.”
The realization that the King was watching out for them and would direct their moves throughout the battle gave the pawns a new perspective on their whole situation. As the Knight moved off, their eyes were opened to what was happening around them, to look for the piece behind the piece, for who was protecting whom. They noticed a Bishop ahead who was in a tight spot, indeed. Threatened menacingly by a Rook from one side, and a pawn from another, yet unable to move for fear of placing his own King in danger, the poor fellow was rather pinned down.
To and fro across the field Pwan looked to see who could help the Bishop, knowing that he himself was much too distant to intervene. The protector Knight he could see, but he was between Panzi and another advanced Pawn position, protecting them both; he couldn’t move. There was Battlebar a few spaces over, but too busy maneuvering to front an offensive that could hopefully put some pressure on the defensive position of the enemy King. Many of his fellow pawns were gone, captured already by the opponents. He saw few other soldiers from his army anywhere, perhaps another Rook in the far corner, but he was unsure. It seemed that all his own army’s soldiers were in tough positions, holding the line against an advancing enemy. It was a grim outlook.
Suddenly, Pwan realized he had overlooked the Queen. She entered the picture now, sliding between two enemy pieces, her eyes blazing with energy. Quick, quick as the light itself when it had entered to awaken Pwan before the battle started, she came. Before the enemy fortress had time to react, to close his gates or prepare defense against her, she had him captured. What a move! What a capture! Only a Queen as brave and strong as she could have done it, Pwan was certain.
A collective sigh of relief rose from the white army, and especially from the Bishop who had been rescued. Perhaps the tide would turn. A Rook had been captured, that was something. The Queen seemed perfectly positioned behind enemy lines to weaken their defenses and threaten the King, coordinating with Battlebar in his efforts. The opposing Queen was safely out of the way, in a far corner of the field. Everything seemed to have changed and each soldier was ready to do his part to keep the momentum rolling. Pwan and Panzi exchanged excited glances; sure they would soon be part of a victorious army. Pwan tried to think about what he needed to do, just like the Knight had told him. “How could he help achieve victory?”
“Hold up, what’s ‘at?” asked Panzi suddenly.
The fear in his voice froze the confident smile on Pwan’s face. As he followed Panzi’s gaze, what he saw killed the smile; their heroic Queen was in a trap. Pwan never figured out whether the enemy King had planned the whole thing that way or whether he just noticed an opportunity after she moved, but it mattered little. Right now she was in harm’s way and no one could move fast enough to help her. From behind a cluster of dusky Pawns there suddenly appeared a black horse and rider, full and heavy with darkly armored plates. The snort of the charger, the jingle of the spurs and the thunder of the hooves seemed to reach the pawns as disconnected sounds. Somehow, they couldn’t be related to the sight of the dark Knight closing the space between their Queen and the point of his jagged lance. It was an inconceivable reality for the friends, definitely a sight Pwan wished not to behold, but he was wholly incapable of peeling his eyes away from the action.
The worst part about the whole situation was the cheering. The enemies were so happy about the capture, jubilant and scornful in their rejoicing. Pwan wanted to personally fill each laughing mouth with fine sawdust and sharp wood splinters, they were so obnoxious. Something would have to be done; in fact he would have to do something.
“I know we can’t win now” Pwan thought. “There’s no way without the Queen. But at least I can teach some of those pompous windbags a lesson they won’t forget!”
“Don’t you remember” he asked, turning to Panzi “how the King loved the Queen? He must be so angry right now too. We’ve got to show these guys they can’t mess with her and get away with it!”
“I’m with ya thar pal” Panzi responded “though I s’pose we’d best mind what all that Knight sed, r‘member?”
“Oh yeah…” Pwan’s mind stopped short in its plans of retribution. With Panzi’s comment he suddenly realized the similarity of this to the situation with Dreem. What had the Knight said, anyway, something about listening to the King’s voice for direction? That sounded right, but could it actually work?
Pwan tried to listen, though at first he found himself distracted by the clockwork movements around him. Every enemy piece seemed to be working together in a coordinated plan, advancing steadily. Though the loss of the Rook had interrupted their momentum, Pwan had the impression that they were better organized now than ever before. A row of Pawns marching here, a Bishop sailing by there, everywhere there were dark, shadowy soldiers on the offensive.
“I am supposed to be listening for the King” Pwan reminded himself, guiltily. He bent his mind to listen, to hear what he could not hear. He looked for opportunity in the meantime, too. Sure he could see a weakness in the enemy position, he almost ran forward to attack the unprotected opponent. Then he remembered again, he was listening for the King’s direction.
“Focus, Pwan, focus” he told himself.
Panzi moved up to help protect the Knight, a seemingly odd turn of events. Pwan looked around to see one of his fellow Pawns several squares over captured by the enemy Queen. The Knight and Panzi on his left seemed to be holding down the forward position; Battlebar to the right was making little progress alone but at least he was occupying a few of the enemy soldiers in a defense against his threatening movements. Looking back, Pwan suddenly remembered the King again. He was supposed to be listening for direction.
Suddenly he felt an urge that the time had come to move forward again. Pwan was willing, certainly, though unsure of what to do next. He looked around, but saw no targets in his path, no grim Rook or swift Bishop to oppose him, not even a Pawn in front of him. Who was he supposed to fight? It made no sense. Well, there was still that Knight up there somewhere…
The strangest thing happened just as Pwan was about to move. He heard the King say: “Leave your weapons behind. You won’t need them and they will only weigh you down. Just run!”
Pwan’s eyes widened in disbelief. That was crazy, he must have heard wrong. The King didn’t want him to leave his weapons; they were the only things he had to fight the enemy. He would be useless, fodder for the lance and the sword of the opponents, would affect nothing but to be killed or captured in shame. How they would laugh at him, too, when they got him. “Who drops their weapons on the battlefield?” he could hear enemy voices taunting. “Some idiot this guy is, ha, ha, ha.” The laughter rang in his mind’s ears, real enough to make him look around to see if everyone was looking at him. He saw no pointing fingers, only felt the gaze of his leader, urging him forward.
“No, it doesn’t make sense!” his brain protested. “This is stupid!”
“Go!” urged his heart. “Go now!”
Pwan went.

Please leave comments :) I want to know what you think of this story...

The last section will be posted soon, so check back!

In Truth,
Stephen

Playing it Unsafe: Chapter 1

2009-05-12T09:17:00.000-07:00

This is the first Chapter of a story I wrote for class my last semester of College. Please post feedback, I would like to know what you think about it, honestly. I will post the following portions soon. Thanks for reading, enjoy!

Playing it Unsafe

A pawn learns about the power of surrender

Light entered Pwan’s world like a living dagger, slicing his familiar darkness open to its brilliant scrutiny. First a knife’s edge creating shadows where blackness was; then the full, blinding noon of visibility as the two sides of his home swung apart. He felt the invigorating caress of its warmth as the hollow encasement opened, exposing him to its power. Had Pwan been a reading man he might have compared his experience with that of a letter on a page of a book being opened for the first time, its cover swinging wide to permit the light to illuminate its story. As it was, he only knew that the light hurt his eyes. Before he really had time to adjust to the light’s stimulating force and explore his surroundings, he was lifted from his carved slot, away from the remaining half of the enclosure he had known as home for so long.

Pwan stood on a flat surface, his eyes still adjusting to the light. Looking down to avoid the blinding pain he saw a flat field, checked with interlocking, two-toned squares. Row by row, file on file they ran, black and white, black and white, as far as he could see. Across the field on the other side there seemed to be a row of people, perhaps they were—

“Howdy Naybur” came a voice from Pwan’s left elbow.

The realization that he was not alone brought great comfort to an unrealized fear. Turning toward the voice, Pwan found he was actually part of a row himself; behind the speaker were 5 or 6 other soldiers, each in his own square, facing forward. Every of them looked nearly the same and also very similar to Pwan himself, he realized. A solid wooden base gave way to a tapered, circular body, an armored collar and a round, sturdy head. Pwan looked back at the sour-faced speaker and realized he was expecting an answer.

“Oh, hi there” he stammered “I’m Pwan”.

“Me name’s Panzi” replied the stumpy foot soldier.

“And I’m Dreem” interjected a young, cheerful fellow on the other side of Pwan.

Dreem was the last one in the row. It seemed that the field ended on the other side of him, perhaps even dropped off like a precipice. However, before Pwan had time to investigate more Panzi continued speaking.

“Ya’ll ‘pear a tab bit lost. This yer first battle?”

Pwan and Dreem both nodded as Panzi went on.

“It’s all kinds of tough, our job. We’s the first defense, the first offense, and we git captured a lot. We-uns just has to do what the King says so, no choices. Might not be too bad but he don’t care much ‘bout us Pawns. We’s expenduble.”

“Oh come now, it’s not as bad as all that!” A new voice entered the conversation from directly behind Pwan.

He realized there was, in fact, another entire row of warriors behind him. They were not all the same as was his row. Each one appeared unique and different. The one who had spoken was a stately gentleman on horseback, sitting at ease on his fearsome charger. His armor seemed carved with care from the finest white maple, and his lance, pennant fluttering in the breeze, rested in a holster on his stirrup. The helmet visor was open just enough to give Pwan an idea that his face was kind and wise.

“Sure, we each have a role to play” the Knight continued “but each one has its own unique dangers. It’s important that we trust the King, he knows what he’s doing”.

Panzi’s replying grunt showed that he was not convinced.

“I apologize, gentlemen” the horseman continued “the King is actually summoning me to move out front now.”

Sideways, up and over he went, and was gone. Before Pwan had time to figure out where his path had taken him, a booming voice from behind and above Dreem interjected

“Sure there are dangers just like the Knight said. That’s why we’ve got to be strong and courageous.”

Looking back, Pwan could see the last square was occupied by a tower of solid brick and stone. The battlements seemed to scrape the sky, gleaming fierce in the golden glow of that bright sun.

“Easy fer you to say, Ha!” muttered Panzi.

As Panzi and the Fortress continued, Pwan turned to Dreem.

“What do you make of all this?” He asked.

“It’s interesting” came the reply “I am more interested in this, though, look! I can see beyond this field. Do you see that?”

“What?” Asked Pwan, “you mean there is more, something outside this field?”

“Yes, can’t you see-I see a big box of some sort; I see another surface under this field, larger than this it seems. I even see something moving, or wait-perhaps someone?”

“What can it all mean, Dreem?” Pwan questioned his new friend.

“I wish I knew” Dreem responded. “Say, I think I need to move forward now. The King is asking me to go.”

Pwan wanted to ask how he knew; he wanted to tell him to stay, he wanted--but Dreem was gone, gone forward to the battle. Pwan could just make out his friend’s shape ahead, standing strong in his square. He seemed so brave, so fearless, and so good.

As his attention returned to the other soldiers around him he realized that Panzi had advanced a little as well. The bishop, another of the back row warriors was moving too. He glided by Pwan, his willowy trunk swaying as he moved. At that moment, Battlebar, as the fortress in the corner was called, pointed attention to the front.

“It looks like our friend Dreem is in danger” He rumbled.

Straining to see, Pwan could make out several of the opposing soldiers standing near the little Pawn. There was a flurry of activity, of soldiers maneuvering for the capture, of mind-bending strategy, of setting up the positions until suddenly a move was made. An opposing bishop slid in from across the board and captured Dreem. Pwan wanted to be there to protect him, to help his friend, but he was too far away.

Just then, a white Knight cut in to attack the bishop, then a black Rook to attack the knight. Move after move left Pwan feeling dizzy and a bit sick. As the action settled all Pwan could think about was his friend’s smiling face. He was always so happy, and he had this ability to see things others couldn’t. Pwan wanted to hear more about the stuff beyond the field, things only Dreem seemed to see.

“Why him? Why?” He asked no one in particular.

Sadness was quickly replaced by anger; anger at the enemy troops and anger at the King for letting Dreem go forward. Could Panzi be right? Perhaps the King didn’t care.

Timing is a funny thing, really. At that moment the King himself moved over next to Pwan. He basically traded positions with the Rook, Battlebar, who moved over near where the King had been before. The Pawn decided to seize the opportunity. Overcoming his hesitation to address the royal warrior who presented such an imposing figure in his hardened oak armor and beautiful, polished cloak carved from the finest red cherry, Pwan stepped forward. Forcing all the courage in his frame into one single phrase, he blurted to the King:

“SiremayIgofightnowtheyjustkilledmyfriend!”

With a quizzical smile, the King held out his hand.

“Slow down there, Pwan. Take a deep breath, OK?

As Pwan felt foolish for his haste the King continued.

“There now, what are you trying to tell me?”

“I’d like to go fight, Sire” Pwan repeated. “I’m ready, can I move forward?”

Pwan could tell by the look in the King’s eyes that he would say no. “What is it” he wondered; the tall ruler seemed sort of sad, yet was almost smiling. It didn’t make sense to Pwan-he wanted to go fight. Why wouldn’t the King let him? It was frustrating.

Time slowed to a drag for Pwan. Nothing seemed to happen; he was useless, sitting here in the King’s shadow unable to help his friend in any way. He began to think about how he could repay the enemy for what they had done to Dreem. He got so distracted that had the King not been so near he would likely have been completely unaware of the battle around him.

As it was, Pwan’s thoughts kept being interrupted by the King as he watched and talked with the other soldiers. The King was constantly involved in whatever was happening anywhere on the battlefield. He planned, directed and encouraged.

“How does he do it?” Pwan wondered to himself “how does he talk to them even when they are far away?”

He remembered Dreem telling him the King had asked him to move. Even the Knight had said something similar. So, how did they know, Pwan wondered. It all seemed very mysterious and Pwan did not understand. On the other hand, one thing he did begin to understand was how much the king actually did care for his people. Emotion etched his face as clearly as if it had been carved there, especially when a Pawn or even more when his Queen was in danger. Pwan began to understand the level of love the King had for his people, his cause and his wife. He valued her above all. The blame he had placed on the King for Dreem’s capture began to slip. Pwan wanted to blame him, to blame someone, to be angry. Yet, the King cared so much, so obviously, that the only thing Pwan could do was wonder how the King had felt when Dreem was in danger. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the King’s voice.

“You may move forward now, Pwan” he heard.

Chapter 2 will be posted soon, so check back :)

In Truth,

Stephen

Most Popular Book

2009-05-10T18:34:00.001-07:00

Well folks,

The winner is Pride and Prejudice. Of the four books I put in the poll it had been read by the most people. I will post a new poll soon and have an interesting story to share, so check back soon.

In Truth,
Stephen

Balm for the Soul

2009-05-05T11:16:00.000-07:00

I used to dislike all yard work if it didn't involve power tools like a mower or gas trimmer. The feel of that power in your hands is great, but without an engine...I mean, digging weeds? Seriously.

I just spent the last 3 hours wrestling small trees, dandelions and poison ivy out of some of our flower beds. I have somehow found a little time to do a little bit of this kind of work over the last couple months and my opinion of yard work has changed. I believe there is something about the tedious process of rooting deep into the earth to remove an ugly bramble that is good for the inner man. Probably for the inner woman too, but I can only conjecture :)

Slow paced, outdoor work with dirt and plants, spending peaceful time in the sun, these are good for a person's soul. It is something we never do anymore, we don't have time to slow down and work with the daffodils. I am just as guilty as anyone, I know. My life has felt like an hour with only 53 minutes in it for the last four years. I had to try to cram a lot of activity in everywhere. I want that to change. I believe it is healthy to step back, to spend time doing old-fashioned things...working with our hands.

I invite you to join me in a quest for life breaks, block off time to spend doing healthy work. Give it a try; wash the car, plant some petunias, or grub out a mess of dandelions from the back yard.

Just don't get poison ivy...

In Truth,
Stephen

Looking ahead to when I look back

2009-05-03T19:00:00.000-07:00

On May 9th I will graduate from Asbury College with a degree in Communications and Leadership.

As the path of my life winds its way past the milestone of College graduation, I pause. I look back over my shoulder, viewing the sections I’ve already trod, from the very beginning where the shadows of earliest memory fade, then all the way back here to the point where I stand today. The memories stream in; strong as the warming sun they pierce the leaves of time like light through the trees that line this path I tread. The memories are good ones. Any lingering remnants of pain and difficulty in my historic mind simply lie forgotten, like the dead, fallen leaves of years past mulching the ditches on either side of the trail. The real memories, the things that inspire me in my journey here grow in living color along the trail, swinging like sprigs of flowers or branches of fruit to touch my hand as I pass.

These memories that touch me are people; I see in my mind the faces of friends whom I have known. I recall their helping hands given when times were tough, when I stumbled or couldn’t see the path. I see in my mind’s eye the faces of those who shared my life’s trail, who were adventurers together with me, finding joy in the journey. Perhaps you are one of these people; the memories I treasure.

Deep gratitude and glory I give to God, my Creator, my Savior, and in a very real way my Father. Special appreciation and honor I give to my mother, who has loved, given, and taught me so much, and to my siblings for putting up with me so long. I give thanks for several of the men in my life who have been role models and leaders for me, and for all the great friends with whom I have worked, studied, ridden bicycles and so much more. You are where I have gotten the determination to proceed through the last four years, so thank you.

I thank you for reading this, for participating in a way in this 21^st century rite of passage. As a cyber-reader, you are now a part of a special moment in my life. You are now a member of my community and perhaps will be one with whom I adventure in the future, creating memories to review at another pause in life’s journey some miles down the road.

Please begin this journey with me now by writing a comment on this post. Leave a piece of advice for me as a graduate, in fact for any graduate who may pass this way on the web-path of life. Tell us what you wish you had known when you were 21, 23, or 26. Or what you are now learning at 21, 23, or 26.

In Truth,

Stephen

Home sweet Home

2008-08-13T09:49:00.001-07:00

Well, I have been home for week now, and am beginning to fondly refer to my time in Colombia as “The good old days”…

Not really, but they were good. :) I know I will always look back at the time I spent there as one of learning, growth, and fun. I wouldn’t trade them for anything…except maybe…a couple million dollars :) Anyway, here I am back working at Chick fil-A and planning to start school soon. Thanks for reading, those of you who have done so. May God bless you as he has me.

In Truth,

Stephen

Almost Gone

2008-08-05T09:43:00.000-07:00

(This was written on 8/3, but posted on 8/5 due to internet problems)

Here I sit in my apartment for the last night. My suitcases are packed, almost everything ready to go. It feels empty-ish in here. Wait, that is just clean, I forgot. Without stuff strewn about here and there in a typical Stephen fashion, well-you know. Anyway, everything is in the suitcases and I leave at 6:30 AM tomorrow for the airport. I will arrive in Kentucky at around 8:30 PM. What that means is that there is a lot of time in between for me to “be traveling”. Should be awesome. I have a long layover in Atlanta and am hoping to meet up with a friend who lives there. And, my internet is not working…so I don’t know when I will actually post this entry. Maybe after I get home.

But for now I can look out my window at the people cleaning the floors in the McDonald’s next door and think back over this trip. What a lot has happened, beginning all the way back in June. It seems like ages, yet also just like yesterday. The planning trip to tropical Girardot, the first couple meetings with schools, all were so long ago. It was pretty uncomfortable during those first few meetings, figuring out how to say what I needed to in the right way, especially with my limited vocabulary. But discomfort notwithstanding, God was there. I remember how He led me daily and helped me figure out what approach to take with each group. He taught me so much, if I can just remember it. Well, it turned into a whirlwind getting through the camp, and then wound down slowly over the last 3 weeks. It began to sink in as I said goodbyes to the different regular groups over the last few days. Then Friday, yesterday, today, seeing the staff for the last time until we see each other again. Wait…that doesn’t sound very important?!!

Well anyway, it all came down to it tonight, hanging out with Hugo. We chatted about all kinds of cool stuff while eating…OK mother, you likely don’t want to read this next part. The rest of you will probably want to publish it in the newspaper…eating…

…A whole roasted chicken. Well, almost whole. We left one of the wings because we were afraid that eating it might prevent us from being capable of walking out of the restaurant. So now, I am going to go to bed. I am going to sleep until 5:30 AM. Then I will get ready to hit the road for home. Wait--perhaps I should say the sky for home. One way or the other, I will be there in about 21.5 hours, and I have one word to say regarding that topic. Awesomationismly!

See you all soon,

In Truth,

Stephen

Lessons in learning

2008-07-28T09:32:00.000-07:00

Well folks, as things are winding down I have been thinking about what I want to bring home with me. I have decided on a hundred acre plot of land and a couple of the Andes Mountains…

Ummm…

In reality I have been considering the lessons I have learned and how they will be applied when I return. There are three specific lessons I feel like I can point to that God has been trying to teach me. I am not a very quick learner for these types of things, so I suspect I will be working on them for awhile. However, at least I am started :) The first lesson I noticed as I was down here was a need to rely on God daily. You may remember my mentioning that in an earlier post. Doing things that are difficult and important made me really conscious of my dependence on His wisdom. I hope to remember this even when I get back to a more ‘normal everyday routine’ sort of life. More on that later. The second lesson was in regards to humility. It was multi-faceted but specifically related to remembering that God is the one who really does the work when I think I am doing it. While this is a humility lesson, it is also very freeing, in that I need not worry about the results. I can simply trust God. The third lesson I am working on is about loving people. I need to learn this because I am pretty selfish :) The way I feel this specifically is that I need to be willing to put aside my own comfort or image and care more about the people I am around than I do for myself.

This lesson has been a long time in the making, but one thing that brought it to the fore recently was a two day period last week. I had about 6 or 8 different deep, life-trajectory type conversations with people in the course of about 48 hours. Wow! God was working. This experience was awesome, and it helped me notice that I seem to have had a lot more opportunities down here for that type of thing than at home. My question then became “why?” What is the difference, is it geography, situations, or just mentality? I am not completely sure, but one thing I feel clearly. I need to be more focused on other people and their needs, looking for ways to let my light shine brighter. I want my mentality to be one that is always looking for opportunities. That, I believe will be one way of showing love to those around me.

Another thing that was not really a lesson, but which was awesome was some things God spoke to me during the camp. I felt Him confirming some things I had been feeling about my future. It was a really awesome time, and very different from what I am used to. The theme of the last several years seems to have been waiting for direction. I feel as if I am on a mountain pathway covered by clouds. Well, I believe God has blessed me by rolling the clouds away enough to let me see the next couple steps and at least a glimmering of the spectacular view for which I have been searching. I look forward to what I can see…and the rest that I still can’t see. :)

In reality I have only touched the surface of each of the ‘lessons’ I mention above, and there are more besides. However, at least it is the surface. Now any of you reading will have an idea of some of the themes I have encountered. And please, anytime you see me, feel free to ask me how I am doing in any of these areas. I welcome and indeed ask that you would do so. Accountability helps strengthen growth, I believe, and growth is what I want.

This brings me back to what I mentioned earlier, about ‘normal everyday routine’ life. Essentially what I want is to not return to a life of that sort. While I realize that a lot of this just has to do with semantics, I am after all, a communications major :) I believe the way I speak about life and think about life can influence in a big way the types of actions I make in life. With that in mind, my goal is to remember my time here, focused on influencing people. I want to translate the same mentality back to my old Kentucky home, that life there will be different. In coming back to a different setting and set of circumstances and environments, my goal will be to discover how I can take what we do here and improve what I do there with what I have learned.

Somehow, I feel like I have just written a reflection paper for class. Perhaps it is because that is the only time I open up about what I feel and learn…

If so, that worries me. It should not be so. Henceforth, it is NOT so, for I have written much about personal sharing and feelings stuff here, in a non-reflection paper setting. In fact, it is in a very public setting, open for the entire world to read.

Umm… I am beginning to worry myself with my level of openness. I don’t know if I am ready for this…

The end.

In Truth,
Stephen

La Fey (Faith)

2008-07-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been full of interesting happenings. A quick summary would include the hours spent working on a DVD of photos and the concurrent frustration of different types of media files that don’t work together. Were I summarizing the last week, I would certainly mention the great times I have spent with my coworkers planning their future trip to Kentucky. Not to be left out would be the experience of being accosted by a man in a business suit selling antioxidant-filled energy gels. I would definitely mention the great conversations I have had over the last 48 hours, talking to various people about various important things. The most interesting was the clothing store owner who asked me for advice about his relationship with his girlfriend. He is a new Christian, she is a pastor in some fairly strict denomination, it sounds like. He hopes to marry her, but has not told her about his ex-wife from before he was a Christian, because he knows she believes that a person should only marry once in life. Uh-Oh!
Yes, all this would be included in a quick overview, along with a quick mention of the group meetings we have had over the last few days. However, I am glad to be free from any restraints like “quick overview” or “summary” and other cumbersome and interfering titles. I am glad because I want to speak a bit more about the meetings we have had this week. They were cool.

We started back with regular weekly meetings with the schools and groups this week, finishing up a module on character. The principle we discussed this week was Faith. We used the ‘Trust Fall’ activity to illustrate. In case some of you are not familiar with this activity, I will explain. One person stands on something elevated to about 4 feet. The group stands in two lines facing one another in a line out from the one person. They extend their arms in front of them in order to catch and the person on the platform falls (without bending their body) into the waiting arms of the group. Like the name says, you have to trust. Well, it was interesting to see the difference between the two groups we have used this with so far. One was a group of teachers in a school. The other group was young people, 12-20ish. Out of 25 teachers, only 5 would do the activity, and the others hardly even wanted to help catch their peers. It was pretty sad…

The other group was better, all tried to fall, and all did but 2 of them. We even added a couple elements with this group to make the activity connect more to faith. As the person was getting onto the stack of plastic chairs we used for our platform, everyone else went away, out of sight. The ‘fall-er’ would look around and see no one ready to catch them. Then one of the facilitators would blindfold them. At a signal, the group would enter silently and position themselves. As they got ready the facilitator would count down to 1 and the person would fall. They had to trust in what they could not see that they would be caught. I think that this was a great way to introduce faith, and how it relates to trust and relationships. After each activity we talked through what people felt and learned, especially relating to faith. Both the groups took good truths away, I think, to apply to their lives.

For myself, the comparison between the groups brought something into focus in my mind. Each of the teachers who didn’t go had an excuse. They had seen or heard of someone getting hurt in similar activities, they had back problems, they were afraid of heights, or of hitting their head, you know. Ultimately though, they were not willing to entrust themselves to the care of their fellow teachers. They didn’t have faith. I don’t know, I am reminded of our need to have the faith of a child. Yes, perhaps the adults simply had a more real idea of the dangers; they were too mature, too wise to participate. They had been through more in life, they knew better. Or did they? Were they perhaps missing something?

I think too often we ‘mature’ to the point where our faith is sterile and near useless. As we grow up we lose our ability to trust. Yes, we can call it wisdom, but I am not so sure. We can call it experience, but is that the right kind of experience? I pray to have faith like a child. I want a faith untainted by the ‘maturity’ and the hesitation of the world. I want to believe and obey like I don’t know any better :)

“Faith is the certainty of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen”

In Truth,

Stephen

Flags, Food, Freedom, Fotos...Oh my!!

2008-07-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

Today was the Colombian Independence Day. Many Colombians here spent most of it walking the streets to show their support for the hostages being held by FARC and to call for their release. I think that is a valid way to spend Independence Day, focusing on freedom for others. It was really cool for me to see the passion they have here for this subject; there were thousands out walking the streets. They wore white, many having special message bearing T-shirts bought just for this day, they carried flags, they blew whistles, they sang, they walked. I had less time to spend out in the streets than I would have liked to take it all in. However, I was impressed. I hope that these people feel strongly enough about this that it will make them take action steps to create change as well. If this number of people (and this is only is one city, they did this all over the country today) would do something, who knows what could happen. I think it is better than fireworks.

Some different T-Shirt designs
(Red, Yellow, and Blue are the Colombian flag colors)

From standing on a bridge, this was the view in one direction. That is quite a crowd.

And my favorite shot, looking the other way off the same bridge.

Friday night, four of us guys went out to eat, bidding Cody goodbye. It was a great time and we laughed too much, I think. Wait, that is not possible! Anyway, the cool thing was the restaurant. It is called “Crepes and Waffles”. The food was really good, the ice cream was better, the atmosphere was great and it wasn’t too expensive. However, the cool part for me was the story behind it all. Francisco told me about it, apparently the founder had a vision to help people. It is a Colombian company that started with one store and is now all over the country. Well anyway, all the employees are single mothers. This chain specializes in providing a great work environment for people who are in a difficult position in life, either abandoned, widowed, or something like that. It seems that that is not all, but they help out each employee when they start by giving them a washing machine or something like that to improve their quality of life. Quite a fascinating company, I like it. It might be kind of awkward if I went to try to work there though, so I guess I will stick with Chick fil-A. :)

Us four at Crepes and Waffles. I am apparently about to kick something... ...

Well, until next time,

In Truth,
Stephen

It is my pleasure to S.E.R.V.E. you...

2008-07-17T19:45:00.000-07:00

So, I just got home exhausted, took a shower, and then remembered that I still have a blog. I am sure you can understand my forgetting, since you probably did as well. I haven’t written in so long that I will be lucky if anyone remembers to check and read this. So, perhaps the first thing I should do is tell why I haven’t written anything in so long, or put in a better way, I should 'explain myself!'. I have not had internet access. We just got done with the big event for the summer, which was our Campamento S.E.R.V.E. The acronym, for those of you who aren’t involved with Chick fil-A, is a leadership model we have. Each letter stands for a different aspect of a leader’s focus, all relating to service. It was a really awesome time to which I cannot do justice in writing. However, that won’t stop me from trying…

As you will remember, my friend Cody came here for the camp. Ten other Americans came down to participate as well, all Chick fil-A people. We started the camp at 9:30 PM Thursday night and ended at about 5 AM Tuesday morning. In between those two points there was a lot of riding in a bus…too much. Going out of Bogota, coming back to Bogota, you know. The areas in which we spent those few days were about 7 hours from here. Well, more importantly than any of that was that during the bus rides and at other times, there was a whole lot of God being there. We did a wide variety of activities from hiking to logic puzzles, eating, skits and pushups. We learned how to pick coffee, roast coffee, grind coffee, and drink coffee. We did a bunch of riding too, besides the bus. We rode horses, roller coasters, trains, and best of all a zipline. Perhaps more to the point, we rode 8 of them. I think altogether they were about a mile in length!! All that stuff was really cool, or, as they say here in Colombia “Chevere”. However, for me the weekend was defined by conversations. As I look back, I see the people I met, the discussions we had, the things I learned from them, and the things we all learned from God. I remember the freedom from bondage that came to one guy specifically; I remember the work I believe God is doing in the lives of one family who do not even believe in Him. I heard wisdom this week, and I pray that each other person did as well, whether they were from Colombia or from the U.S.

For me personally, the camp was a stretching time. I did a bunch of stuff that was not really comfortable for me. I tried my hand at translating during presentations, I gave talks myself. I got to lead in major ways that were new to me, stretching me and teaching me. It was a good time. It was a time with God. And I got a lot of really amazing pictures in the bargain. How could I ask for more?

The main theme that I felt personally was vision. I felt God continuing to confirm things I am to do in the future. It is really awesome; for so long I have felt unsure about a lot in my life, about my future. I have felt kind of like I was in a fog, only able to see a step or two ahead. Well, I think that over the last 6 months or so, God has been showing me a few more steps. I am really excited, and can hardly wait. Well, I had better end this post here. I will try to post again soon, and am also trying to get Cody to write a guest post as well. Anyone who wants to hear from him should be sure to comment on this post and say so. :)

A few pictures follow, out of the hundreds that I have from the week. I hope you enjoy!

In Truth,
Stephen

Here we are, preparing in a completely orderly fashion, for a trail ride during the camp

This was a sad time, when my friend Cody was "robbed" by some hooligan ...

Our fearless leader, Jesus Ortiz, on the zipline

The whole campamento group in the Valle de Cocora

Finally...another post...

2008-07-03T09:56:00.000-07:00

Well, sorry to disappoint. I never got my jokes back. Though, perhaps its better this way. I am still behind on the blogs, too. Like you couldn’t tell. However, I have an excuse. So you can’t blame me. I have been…busy. So there. Now I am done with the short sentences. Well, almost. Ok, now I am.

On Sunday I got to spend some time with an American gentleman and his Colombian wife, sister/brother-in law and nieces. It was a good time, reinforcing some cultural factors here. We went to church, which was lively, (typical of the area) and then went to lunch. We drove outside the city to a really good restaurant on a hillside. Afterward we went back to the house where my American friend and I watched a movie while everybody else took a siesta. All told, we spent the whole day together. It was not a big deal that we had to wait 45 minutes In between ‘events’ here and there. People just spend time together here. Cool stuff, you know, though a little difficult for someone like me to get used to.

Well, on Monday, (I didn’t have to work because it was a national holiday) I went for a long bike ride in the mountains. It was gorgeous outside the city. The farms on the mountainside looked so peaceful and the grass was so green it made me think I was in Ireland. I don’t know if the grass is really very green in Ireland, perhaps someone who has been there can confirm this; it is just what came to mind…

I got a couple pictures of the city from partway up the mountain, though unfortunately, my camera went on the blink after a few minutes. Consequently, I didn’t get many photos. One really cool thing I love about this country is that all the country roads are lined here and there with little settlements or restaurants. If you ever get hungry, just pull off almost anywhere and get a delicious arepa or two. I did that, in fact. Twice. :)

The most fun part of the ride was this one particular hill, going out of Bogota. It took 45 minutes to climb it bu only 5 to go down on the return trip later. I passed car after car on the downhill, it was pretty sweet!

Two different views of the city. It was too big to get all in one photo even from this height.

The road down from where I stopped. Notice the car to motorcycle ratio: 3 to 3!

This week has been slow, just like last week except even more like last week. I hear I am going out of town tomorrow, though. Jesus Ortiz is taking me to a conference where he is speaking. Hugo and Francisco are already there. They have been attending the conference-a factor which has contributed greatly to the quietness of the office. Plans for the camp are coming together well, though, and it looks like it will be great. There are 11 Americans coming down next week, including my friend Cody. He is the only non-Chick fil-A person to be involved. Don’t worry Cody, you won’t have to say “My Pleasure” down here. There will be about 30 Colombians, making about 40 people altogether. The four and a half days of the camp will include various activities that illustrate servant leadership and opportunities to put it into practice. We will be in a remote area of the country for a couple days, we will get to make coffee at one point—beginning with picking the beans. A variety of things from milking cows to picking up trash to a visit to a theme park will round out the week, hopefully leaving everyone involved with a better idea of how to S.E.R.V.E.

In Truth,

Stephen

The joke of the day is...on me!

2008-07-01T18:50:00.000-07:00

I’m sorry I haven’t blogged in so long folks, I got kidnapped and didn’t have internet access for a few days. I had to pull a Harrison Ford move…

…OK, so I’m pulling a Jim Carey move right now with this whole story…and if you don’t get the joke, well, neither do I. However, the moral of the story is to never try to be a Jedi.

In other news, the end of last week was really awesome. We did still have two groups that met Thursday and Friday. I had the presentation for each of them, but they were very different types of groups. I wanted to prepare for them earlier in the week, but a funny thing happened. You may remember how one of the main lessons I am learning from God is about relying on Him daily? Well, He decided to take that to the next level. He told me not to prepare for the groups until the day of for each of them. I was a little worried, but in the end it was really cool. Each day He gave me a couple scriptures to use, different ones for each group. This shaped each discussion, going over the same ideas but in a very different way. It was an interesting experience for me, trusting Him like that. It was definitely worth it though. He did a way better job then I could have........................duh.

Thursday night was really cool. We ended up staying late because several of the guys just talked and talked, sharing struggles and questions they have. It was really exciting how open they were. I think those kind of discussions (ones about stuff that really matters) may be even more rare here than in the states, I don’t know. Either way, they seemed to genuinely appreciate some people just willing to listen to them and to share with them. God is so amazing, being able even to work through a gringo who likes bicycling!

The Friday morning group gave God another opportunity to remind me that the impact on people doesn’t depend on me. My little talk didn’t go very well, I struggled for words, forgot things I meant to say, etc. Quick note of counsel for those interested: Don’t assume you will be able to quickly find a particular verse in a Spanish Bible, just by knowing the general area or chapter to look in. When put on the spot in the middle of a presentation, Spanish words all look the same. I promise. They all say: Necio, Necio, Necio...Anyway, the point is that after me doing a poor job God was still there. We got to pray individually with each student there, talking about relationships and pain and all kinds of stuff. I could really feel God’s Spirit there while we prayed; powerfully surrounding us. I am amazed by Him. Period. Oh, and I love Him too.

As you have likely guessed by now I did get away from the kidnappers…….

Well, what I mean to say is that it was a great week! :)

I am also excited to find out that a friend from the states, Cody Kerr, is going to come see me for a little over a week in a week. If that didn’t confuse you, let me try again. Sometime, he is going to come here one time for some time, just in time. It’ll be a great time. Anyway, there is a standing invitation to anyone else who wants to come down here and see a bit of Colombia. I have an apartment, so here’s the deal: You buy the plane ticket and I will pay your rent while you are here! Seriously, I’ll be here all week—I mean; until August 4.

Folks, I am afraid I have used up my daily quota of dumb jokes, so instead of writing like an intelligent, normal person, I will simply quit writing. I will try to come back tomorrow and tell about the weekend. Hopefully I will have more jokes by then. Thanks for reading , God bless-

In Truth,

Stephen

All's quiet on the Colombian front

2008-06-25T19:01:00.000-07:00

It has, in fact, been a quiet spell these last 3 days. Most of my time has been spent in the office. Most of our regular groups are on vacation right now, so we are planning and preparing for the upcoming 'Campamiento' in July. It is the big event of the summer, and is the same thing that I came down here for last summer. It was a great week then, and I think this year may be better. They have changed some of the things we will do, it sounds like a lot of fun and very deep spiritually too.

We spent most of this afternoon practicing a skit we plan to do during the camp. It is something Francisco found on Youtube, a very powerful skit I think. If you want to see it, here is the URL http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=9_M0H5nrY8E

Today I met another American here. He is a businessman from Atlanta who is loosely connected to Chick fil-A through personal friendships. Anyway, he is in real estate and is working with Jesus Ortiz on a plan for a shopping center here in Bogota. He and his wife have an apartment here, as she is apparently Colombian. He seems very nice and as hospitable as any Colombian. I think he is going to invite me over this weekend, and he already did invite me to his place for a 4th of July celebration!

Tonight I met another guy who speaks English pretty well, too. He is a young Colombian and studied English in high school. He works in a little shop that sells logic games and puzzles and other things like that. He and his friend who worked with him were both really friendly. The non-English speaking guy, Rafa, and I even played a game of chess. I think I will meet up with them again in the future sometime. They were cool people. :)

Well, that's all for now folks-

In Truth,
Stephen

Praises go where they belong!

2008-06-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

Friday was a busy day. We had two events, one of which was a huge opportunity. God must have been at work, because we were able to share with a group of about 500 people for 3 hours. This is how it went down...

Apparently this school has a 'family day' every year at the end of the school year. In the past they have had fun events, dances, etc. Well, the people with power have been impressed by what Operation Reconciliation is doing, it seems. So, they decided to have a seminar for all the student's families for their family day event. We had activities and experiential learning events, testimonies, teaching, etc. I think the day went well, people seemed to react positively. The main focus of the day was on character and family communication, stuff like that. It is so hard because there are so many broken homes here. Even if a parent wants to spend time with their child, they often have to work all the time just to provide food and housing. There are a couple pictures here from the event...

Today I spent some time riding my bicycle around the city. Every Sunday here, they shut down 5 or 6 of the main city streets to cars. Only bicycles and pedestrian traffic is allowed. It is possible to go all over the city this way, without having to ride in traffic. This place is HUGE! I rode for several hours and when I looked at the map later, the area I rode around was only about 1/3 of the city. Well, it was enough to tire me out, anyhowsers. A couple not very artistic shots of the city streets are below, finishing out this very short post. I don't think this post is even long enough to build a fence with...

Vendors selling anything from fruit juice to bicycle parts line the streets in places during the Sunday rides

In Truth
Stephen

A sandwich of learning...with the police in the middle!

2008-06-18T18:48:00.001-07:00

I have a secret to share. I discovered this over the last couple days, and since you have likely never thought of it, I wanted you to be the first to know: God is smarter than me.

OK, but seriously-He is. The last couple days have been interesting and I definitely had a reminder that I always need to seek God and His direction. Monday we had a meeting with a group at the Bella Vista school--that is the same one we went to last Monday. We were talking about sexuality again, but to a different group of students. Well, it was rough. I felt like I wasn’t ready and the kids didn’t want to listen…you know. Anyway, God is faithful. He wasn’t angry that I hadn’t even thought to ask Him for help before the presentation...(stupid of me). You know how you feel after you do something that felt like a failure? Well, Satan likes to get me in those times :) I don’t want to over-spiritualize the whole thing, but I do think it is part of that guy’s job description to try to debilitate and condemn us. Anyhow, God would have none of it. He reminded me that it is not really up to me or about what I do anyway. Ultimately, it is He who will work in people’s hearts. Whether I feel that a day was successful or not, whether I think anyone listened, or think that ‘I’ did well is less relevant than simply doing my best. It is the Holy Spirit who will follow up on our work. That makes me feel a lot better about stuff when things don’t go “as planned” or whatever.

God did lead with some specific ideas, though; several changes we needed to make to improve situational attention maintenance and positive cerebral focus abilities among the students. Oh…sorry, that was the communications student part of me getting out of control there :) To make a short story shorter, we busted out our sweet new moves during the meeting today, and it went much better, praise the Lord.

Yesterday, in between learning all this, I went to the Colombian National Police Academy. Jesus Ortiz, the Operation Reconciliation founder is also involved with another group, which, although apparently started in the U.S. I had never heard of before. It is called “La Red, Business Network” and is a Christian leadership consulting and training organization. Well, they have contracts with the police, army, navy, and air force here, and are growing programs within their officer training programs. It is pretty awesome, I got to sit in on a couple of the sessions and meet another man, Juan Carlos, who works with Jesus in this. They also have programs operating in Guatemala and Mexico among court judges, military, teachers and police. I was impressed with the presentations they were doing, and plan to check out this organization once I get back in the states, it looks great. I took a couple pictures on the sly while in the Academy. I had a feeling that it wasn’t allowed, but, you know. Well, it was against the rules, as I found out quickly. I guess I was not as sly as I thought…

I would appreciate continued prayers for me and those here I am working with. Pray that we may stay close to God personally, and that the light of his glory may shine through us. Pray for the students we interact with, many so young and vulnerable, yet so mature in the ways of the world. Pray for clarity of mind as we present and discuss, for open hearts and minds. Our goal is to instill a vision in these young people that will drive them to strive for a better life, a true, eternal one. Sweet! Thanks for reading my rantings, have a good rest of your day…or night…or cup of coffee…or chicken sandwich…or whatever is up wid yu der…

The main walkway after the security gates at the Police Academy. he he...

A sunset+pedestrian, bicycle and vehicular traffic on the street in front of the office OR is based from. It is Calle 127 for those of you who want to look it up on google maps...in between Carrera 19 and Carrera 14? I think, the Autopista...
The bike path there is a part of the largest city bikeway system in the world, for those of you who care to know. Bogota has more bike path space than any other city, anywhere. So there, take that Oregon!

In Truth,
Stephen

I thought the weekends were for resting?

2008-06-16T19:07:00.000-07:00

First, a quick note on the weather here. Or, more to the point, the sun. It rises at about 5 AM and sets at 5:30 PM, approximately. What this means for me, getting off work around 5 PM is that I have no daylight left. For some reason this makes it feel like I have worked from dawn til dusk... ... ... Well, I am used to still having a few hours of daylight left after 5 PM. Anyway, the point of all this is…

…After a long week with lots of work and crazy bus situations, it was Saturday. Consequently, I went for a bike ride. And wouldn’t you know it; the whole ride was a hill.

Now, thattsswwhaaat-I’mtalking about!!! Wait, what am I talking about!?!?!?

Essentially, there is this hill with a neighborhood on it. The road goes all the way up and around a bit until it gets to the top. Makes sense to me, so I decide to ride it. It took me about 30-45 minutes to climb I think. Not too certain, since I was focused on other things than watching time…but it was definitely a slow ride up--but pretty sweet going down before I went up again. Nice curves at high speeds, you know. Can’t beat that!

Anyway, for those 4 of you who actually care about this stuff, I tried to figure out the grade of the hill. After all the conversions from kilometers and other mind bending logic-er, math- I think it was about a 1000 foot elevation increase over 1.5 miles, about a 12% grade. The elevation at the bottom was around 8500 ft, so the top would have been 9500-ish. The view was pretty awesome, though it was cloudy. The pictures below should speak another 4 thousand or so words, leaving you with a pretty good impression of the area...

This is the view from the house of Jesus Ortiz, the Operation Reconciliation founder. His house is on the right.

The view into the valley from part way up the climb.

The brick road that winds up the mountain. You can see a strip of it below as well.

This is from the top. It was pretty sweet, looking down on this neighborhood from up there, thinking about all those poor people who had not just had as fun as I had!

Sweet!

In Truth,
Stephen

This Week Behind Me

2008-06-15T20:29:00.000-07:00

One thing is for sure. Life here is different. But good. Though in different ways. Obviously. So, in what ways is it different, you ask? What have I been doing, you ask? Well, it’s a long story, I respond. It’s ok, I’ve got time, says you. And so it begins…

I have now met with all the groups Operation Reconciliation works with on a regular basis. One is a group of about 25 school teachers, one contains 15-ish high school students, and the third consists of 10 unwed mothers from a teenage mother’s home here. The way that Operation Reconciliation (OR) works is to go to the sight of a group once per week for a meeting. There is a small amount of curriculum in the form of handouts and exercises/homework. They go through a series of character traits, one per week, which are important to a whole and successful life. Each group has the same trait each week, though the discussions are obviously different because of the different personalities in the groups.

I am learning a lot about how they do things here, and it is pretty encouraging. Even though this country is, in many ways more morally loose than the U.S. we are still able to go into public schools here and teach about character and at least a little about God. We still have to be a bit careful about religion, but there is a lot of freedom. Identity was last week’s character trait, and Humility was this week’s. Teaching about identity focused on who we are created to be by God, learning to find our purpose and meaning in life in Him as our maker. The direction for discussing humility has been to show that we all have things we need help with. We can’t live alone or be perfect. We need to humble ourselves and confess our sins or problems to others, to get help to overcome. I have been encouraged by how open the people here are, willing to share and be open about their struggles.

I think I am beginning to understand how the buses work here. Of course, now that I say that I will likely get lost again tomorrow, but still. However, if I may put it delicately, everything I now know I learned the hard way. What I mean by this is that I have been lost in the city because of taking the wrong bus; I have had to walk and had to take a taxi twice because I didn’t know what bus to take… Even when using the Transmillennial, supposedly simple, I have been late for a meeting because I didn’t realize that the bus I needed didn’t start operating until an hour later. Oops. Oh well, every day I keep learning more about the buses here, so by the time I leave I should have figured out how to get a ride to the moon. I will be sure to bring you back a piece of cheese as a souvenir, don’t worry.

Or, you could just come with me. I am sure we can fit at least 60 people in a 20 seat bus! That is about how it feels during the busy times here, you wave down a bus, and step onto the bottom step to get in as the bus takes off. Holding on for dear life to the handrail, you realize that you can’t even get far enough into the bus to pay the driver. You cannot, in fact move any farther than the first step. Every seat is full and the two foot wide isle is packed. You look anxiously at the back of the bus, hoping that it has a back exit door. No such luck. That means that every person in the bus has to go past you to get out. A couple people finally do get off, giving you a spot to move to, or else a couple more get on, forcing you in between that suited businessman with the earbuds and the old lady with the shopping bag. You can’t move. The handrail on the ceiling is pretty useless since even the jerky stars and stops can’t knock you down-you are too tightly entrenched between other passengers. Each time someone needs to get off the bus, they push you into the face of the mother with her baby sitting in the seat beside you as they go by. There is only room for two people beside each other in the aisle, but there are already three and this other one is passing you one way or the other. Add to that picture the necessity of figuring out where exactly you need to get off, and you have a fair idea of what it is like to ride the bus here. Lots of fun!

When I can I prefer to commute on the bicycle I am borrowing, which is another experience in itself. I will not go into any detail right now, but let’s just say that Chris Shute and I would be extremely cautious and sedate drivers here!

One huge difference here that would have killed me is the job situation. It is extremely rare for a high school student to have a job, something I had a lot of and enjoyed immensely. In fact, most college students don’t either, and many adults have trouble finding work. Jobs are rare here, and there are lots of things people do on their own to make money. I am always seeing something new that some guy has thought up to get tips. Of course, there are at just about every intersection a couple people selling snacks or newspapers, but there are lots of other options. In most grocery stores the “baggers” aren’t employed by the store. They bag groceries and often carry them to the car, earning only tips. On busy streets where parking is scarce a man will often stand all day and help stop traffic and direct a driver in and out of a small parking space. Again, all he earns are the tips. Some of the most creative I’ve seen yet are the men who get tips from bus drivers. They will stand for hours on a street corner with a notebook. They record times of when different buses pass them. Then, as a bus passes they will give the driver hand signals to tell him how far apart he is from the other bus(es) belonging to his company. I guess they care about knowing this, for whenever a bus stops near where the timer guy is working he will hop on for a second and the bus driver gives him a little money. Crazy times.

This week will be busy. We have all our regular groups, but we are also going to two new ones. They are at the same school where we went last Monday. We have two groups of 20 students to discuss sexual freedom. I would appreciate prayers for these times especially, as I am doing most of the talking. It is a bit difficult to talk about this topic to begin with and I am trying to do it is Spanish which makes it even harder. Pray for my vocabulary, for the student’s comprehension, and most of all for receptive hearts. This is such an important topic for this culture, where things like masturbation and pornography are common and things like virginity are rare. We really want to impress on these young people that they were made for a purpose and it is so much higher and better than what they see in the movies. Pray that they will have the courage to stand up and be different.

I would covet prayer for my relationship with God, too. For those of you who read the first blog entry, you may remember that I tend to get distracted by new surroundings. I have some goals for my walk with God, but need to follow through and make sure they happen. It is super important that I stay close to Him so my light can shine brighter.

This is the front of the school where we went last week. It, along with most buildings here, has a fence and a gate with a guard.

A few of the kids in the group

This is during an activity we did. The guy in the red t-shirt is Francisco, the main man in most of the stuff we do here

It was pretty weird getting mobbed by a bunch of elementary schoolers at this other school. I guess I do stand out a bit here, huh? Behind me is my best friend here, Hugo Fernando. He is pretty awesome and has taught me a lot about the culture.

2008-06-11T13:11:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post with a few pictures. This first is the front of my apartment building--notice the name on the front!!

Unfortunately, this is the view out my back window...

These next two are from the weekend trip last weekend when I was out of the city...

This is definitely one of my favorite pictures I have taken. Ever. In my life. For serious.

Bye-

Que he hecho?

2008-06-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

Wow, a lot has happened since my last post.

First, a quick summary of the weekend. We went to this place, did some stuff and came back.

Next:

But for serious, not a lot of exciting things happened during our time at the vacation house. We spent time planning a bit and relaxing a lot. I did get to try several different typical Colombian dishes over the course of the trip. One interesting one is called Sancocho. It is a soup which consists of a flavorful thin broth containing a huge chunk of potato, a huge chunk of plantain, a huge chunk of yucca root, and a huge chunk of beef. I will leave it to you to figure out how much of it you think I ate. The weekend was also a good time to get to begin to accustom myself to not being able to understand what was going on around me. Really though, it is hard work listening! I cannot understand things the way I can in English, I have to focus hard and I still only catch on to the gist of what is going on at times. Tan pobre yo! Anyway, on to what happened today...

Every Monday the OR staff (all 4 of them) meet to discuss how the last week went and make plans for the current one. That was this morning at 8 AM. I began to get a feel for the groups they work with on a regular basis. Right now they have three regulars: one group of students, one group of teachers and one group of pregnant girls and unwed mothers. This afternoon 3 of the other OR staff and I went to a school here in the city. We were scheduled to do a one-time workshop with a small group of their students. We had 16 from the 7th-9th grades. The ideas we brought them were focused on purity and dealing with sexual temptations as creatures created by God for a purpose. We got to use some experiential learning type activities and I was given the privilege of entertaining the students with my Spanish skills by giving the main message we had to share. We got to break up into male/female groups afterward to discuss temptations and responses to them in more detail. Thankfully, Fransisco took over at this point and did most of the facilitation of the small group conversation. I would have been like a white (very white), bike ridin' (very fast), chicken sellin'(My Pleasure!), home teached (very splendificultly), gringo kid out of water if I had tried to do that part. Wait...

...
...
Maybe I should just have said a fish out of water...

Anyway, I was surprised at how quickly some of the guys opened up and talked about the things they are going through. It was very encouraging and they seemed sincere in their desire to live pure lives. My main concern is that they need someone to keep them on track and lead them on a continual basis. However, we may have a chance to figure out a way for that to happen, since before we left, we were asked to come back next week. They lined up two or three mornings for us to go have similar conversations with other groups of youth at the school. Please pray for the students at this school, there are around 400 of them. It is one of the few free schools here, as even most public schooling costs at least a small amount. That means these children are from very poor and often broken homes. Our hope is to be able to influence the whole school by taking groups of 12-15 students from each classroom (of 40 students) to go through this workshop. Please pray that we will be able to set up a method for continued influence, that any who want to may have a system of support to help them make good choices for their lives. Please also pray that the students who we are able to talk with will feel confident and share these ideas with their classmates.

During our travel to the school I got to ride on the main bus system here, the Transmillenial. It is the backbone of the immense bus transportation here in the city. As many of you no doubt know, buses down here are very different from the nonexistent ones in the U.S. The main difference is that they exist. I think there are more public transport buses in this one city than in all of the U.S. There are hundreds or more local ones; Then if you go to the edge of the city, there are scores more bound for various outlying cities or villages. I would guess that about 10% of the vehicles on the road are buses, making up a much greater percentage of actual travelers. Another 60% or so are cars, and the remaining 30% are motorcycles and bicycles. I am just making up all these numbers, so don't quote me or anything, but seriously, there are a lot of buses and two wheeled vehicles here. I do think my percentages are pretty accurate. Well, more local traffic news later, officer Don is now off duty.

This is a pretty typical motorcycle for around here. They usually have somewhere in the are of 100-125 cc engines. For anyone who needs a comparison, a 500 cc engine is kind of small in the states.

Signing out__
In Truth
Stephen

2008-06-06T15:01:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures in my apartment in Bogota.
This one at the top is obviously my little kitchen...

This is one side of the living room/dining room area.

This is the other angle, the dining area, with the bicycle I mentioned in my last post. I haven't used it yet, but I feel it will serve me well.

Just for kicks, this is a picture of the "bottled" water I bought the other night. It is cheaper to purchase it in bags. This bag cost 1300 pesos, or about 85 cents.

Well, more photos later. Let me quickly explain a bit about the people I am connected with here so I can use names to refer to them. The founder and director of the organization I am here with is named Jesus Ortiz. His wife is Marcela, and they have three children: Edwardo, Sara, and Camila. I am staying now with them and Marcela's sister, Sandra at their summer house in Girardot, a smallish city about a 3 hour drive from Bogota. We will be here until Sunday afternoon. Marcela and Edwardo are recovering from a bad cold (the whole family has been sick recently) and Jesus and I have been talking about plans for the summer.

He is a man of great ideas and feels called to a great work with the youth here. I am excited about what I can learn while here, for certain. I can see that he will allow, and even expect, me to jump right in and help with the work they are doing. That will be a great experience for me, though stretching. I have been working for a few hours on plans for a one-week camp we will be having in July. It is the same one I came down here for last summer, though it will be very different this year. Well, I had better sign off here, there is no internet in their house here, so I am in the clubhouse of the condo complex. I think it is time to head back to the house, so I will say goodbye until..."The opportune time". Dum ...dum...dum...

I'm gonna shock your culture!

2008-06-04T18:57:00.000-07:00

First day down, 61.39 days left to go! Sweet!

Anyway, Bogota is a huge city. I think I have decided to simply do a bicycle tour from one end of the city to the other instead of cycling across the U.S. It will be longer. They do have a pretty organized system for their roads though. It is really easy to understand-at least that's what they keep telling me! Let's put it this way: I thought I got away from the New Jersey traffic regulations about left hand turns...but they are the same here too-except they are now is Spanish and full color.

Moving on, I spent the majority of the day today planning for next Monday, which will be the first day I actually start working with any of the youth here. We huddled up and made a game plan in the heavenly language. I understood at least 73% of what was going on, I promise.

I didn't mention my apartment yet, but it is very nice. It is small but comfortable and fully furnished. I found out today what I hadn't been told before, which is that this isn't just an apartment they lined up for me to rent, I am actually living in the apartment of one of the relatives of the family I had contact with before I came. This came as a bit of a surprise to me today, talk about hospitality! She is unmarried, and simply moved in with her sister for two months while I am here. It is full of decorative little knickknacks and things which I wondered about before I knew this detail.

As I mentioned before the people here know hospitality to the nth degree. They keep buying me food and are very nice. It has definitely been great to see the friends I made last summer on my one week trip, and to make new ones too. Obviously the apartment is one huge example of hospitality, and I had merely to mention an interest in buying a cheap bicycle to commute during my stay before someone had her sister calling her brother and found me a bike to use. It isn't quite a speedy road demon or anything, but is likely better for commuting around here. It is simply a basic mountain bike, and a girl's at that. If I can figure out how to post some pics I will let you all see it for those of you who either care about bikes in general or simply want to laugh at me for riding a girl's bike. However, Chris and Cody, I bet I could still smoke you guys on a climb with these sweet wheels!

Well, apparently I will be going somewhere away from the city for the "weekend" with the Ortiz family. I put quotation marks around the word weekend because the trip starts tomorrow, on Thursday. The way I am used to working, I would have called that half a week, but hey-I'll take what I can get. I just hate to think of those of you working at CFA slaving away in that double drive-thru while I get to see the countryside in Colombia for a whole weekend! All I can say is, Eat More Chicken!!

With the trip these next few days, I don't know whether I will be able to update this til I get back, so hold your breaths for the next installment.

Living it Forward

2008-06-02T07:11:00.000-07:00

I leave the country tomorrow. This will be my second trip overseas, and by far the longest. At 6:45 AM I go to spend 8 weeks in Colombia, South America. I am excited!

I will be working with a Colombian organization teaching leadership and character to high school students in Bogota, Colombia's capitol city. I hope to be able to update this blog every couple days so anyone interested can keep up with what I am doing. Your comments and notes will be greatly appreciated--I want to hear from you!

I ask up front for prayer for this trip. Obviously, safety is a huge concern, as Colombia is one of the most dangerous countries in South America-if not the world. However, the main thing I ask for prayer for is that I will be able to maintain and deepen my relationship with God while there. New places and change often present challenges to me in remaining focused on God. I get distracted easily I guess.

The importance of the God-me relationship was driven home to me today as I was reading in Joshua about how the Israelites conquered the land of Canaan. Joshua actually asked God to stop the sun for them so they could finish a battle, and God did it. That is crazy! Well, here's the deal as I see it. Joshua knew what God wanted done. He had listened to God and heard his wishes. He asked God for something to fulfill God's command to conquer the land. I guess what I want to say is that I want to be in a position to know what God wants from me while I am in Colombia. Obviously this will require that I listen to Him. That is why I ask for your prayers during this trip, that I may seek Him daily even in a new setting.

Well, that's all for now, folks. I will let you know if I make it safely there tomorrow. :)

In Truth,
Stephen